People act on the outside what they feel on the inside

No one feels good being mean. No one comes to this earth with a mission to hurt other people. Only hurt people hurt people. 

This goes for you too. When you notice you're getting off at other people, playing the blame game of going into victim mode. Take a look inside. What's going on? What needs to be felt, or mended, or dealt with? 

The outer world is only a reflection of our inner world. That's why nothing changes until we change and everything changes when we do. It's up to each and everyone of us to look inside for the answers first. To take responsibility for our actions. Being able to respond. 

I believe everything gets better with love. It's my absolute experience and even though I haven't always followed my own advice in the past, I'll try my best to do so in the future. 

Next time someone is mean or rude to you, try to understand what's going on inside of them. It's not your responsibility to fix whatever is going on but maybe you could support them somehow to make both of your lives better? 

Next time you notice yourself being mean or rude to someone else or even to you, try to understand what's going on inside of you. It is your responsibility to fix whatever is going on and you can support yourself to make your life better. And the people around you will benefit from it too. 

With all my love, Helena 

Future you will catch you

I heard this beautiful quote from Elizabeth Gilbert the other day and it really stuck with me:

Fall if you must, the woman you are becoming will catch you. 

So good, right? Some say that life doesn't get easier, we just get stronger. And I think that is true too. We're constantly growing and looking back we'll all discover so many things we used to freak out about that are now part of daily life. 

If we make a conscious choice to move forward, no matter what life presents us, our comfort zone will automatically grow. We will expand in experience and consciousness. You have survived every day of your life so far, so no matter what you are going through, you will make it. The future you will catch you. If you fall, maybe you'll grow wings. 

You can take care of you. I know you can. And you can invite others in. You can ask for help if you want. But ultimately, you have the resources, internal and external to grow through anything. 

With all my love, Helena 

I've missed you!

It's been too long! I've been so focused on other things that I've forgotten how much I love writing on a regular basis. Writing without pressure. Writing for the love of it. Writing to understand myself better. And hopefully, writing to support you. 

There might be some changes to the blog in the fall but for now, I'll keep on writing. Because of the love I have for it. These are my thoughts and feelings. This is a part of my universe. I will probably post Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, just like I used to, but we'll see how it flows. Right now, writing in general is what flows so that's what I'll do. 

With all my love, Helena 

I'm living in alignment and the blog is following me

Dearest reader,

I know you haven't heard from me in a while, and if you've followed me for some time you know this happens about once a year. I write very consistently for months and then all of a sudden, I need a break. I'm on that break now for several reasons; 1. I'm focusing a lot of my energy on a bigger writing project that I will tell you all about really soon. 2. I'm discussing with a partner of maybe moving the blog and all this has gotten me a bit distracted from this space. 

If you want to hear from me almost daily, check out my Instagram where I write almost the same as here. 

And, you know, as always, I'd love to hear from you! 

With all my love,

Helena 

Living deliberately

Deliberate living is deciding how you want to feel first and then getting into action. Whether or not you get what you want is not as important when you have already experienced the feeling you want to feel. And the neat thing is that you attract what you feel, so when you're aligned with your favorite feelings you'll attract more of that which creates those feelings for you. 

Default living is actioning yourself through life and hoping for some good feelings along the way, usually only when you get the outcome that you wished for. 

You decide what perspective you want. 

With all my love,

Helena

Responsible for all of it

What would happen if you took full responsibility for everything in your life? 

Actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings. All of it. This doesn't mean that you take responsibility for anyone else's actions because that's not your responsibility, it means you take responsibility for your reactions to their actions. 

If someone did you wrong - how do you respond? It's actually not the other persons responsibility if you choose to carry resentment by not forgiving. Nor is it their responsibility if you choose to react by trying to get even. That's your responsibility and your choice. 

If you go through a rough time and get caught in victimhood and can't find your way out. Do you stay there and get bitter or do you get the help you need to get yourself out and back to your empowered self? 

I'm not saying any of this is easy, I'm just saying it's possible. And my claim is also that your life will improve when you make the conscious choice to always lean towards empowerment and out of victimhood. 

With all my love,

Helena 

Focus for instead of against

We so often put our focus on whatever we don't want. We join groups against. We talk about our problems. We resist where we don't want to be. Sometimes I think we loose track of what we do want in focusing all our attention on what we don't. 

What you focus on grows. 

It's as simple as that. When you focus on what you're against you'll get more of that kind. So what do you want? What are you for? How can you grow whatever you are in favor of? How can you focus all of your attention in the direction of your dreams and all that is working in your life? 

I'm not saying we should grace over whatever is difficult in our lives. When we're in crisis we need to deal. But most of the time we're not in crisis, we're just living our everyday life. Where's your focus on all of these days? For or against? 

With all my love,

Helena 

Letting people see the darkness

As you probably know if you read these posts regularly, one of my themes of development right now is self-compassion. Something made the insight of what it practically means land in me a few weeks ago. After one of those meaningful insights there always a re-orientation happening in the weeks following. It's as if everything needs to be looked at again but from a new perspective. 

Where my weakness lies I don't want to let others in because that's where I can't love myself. And where I can't love myself I find it unlikely that anyone else would. This is a real dilemma since no one can show me I'm lovable until I give them a chance to love me everywhere and I find it hard to let anyone in where I don't love myself.

I have a strong inkling this is one of the main themes of my next book. I'll let you in on my progress and hopefully, I'll also let you in to my weakness.

With all my love,

Helena