The teacher is only one step ahead

We love gurus. We love perceiving people as perfect, as having everything figured out, as being there. There where we all wish to be. And we think that if we just follow them, do what they do, copy them, then we’ll also be there. Sorry to break it to you, but there are no such people. We’re all both students and teachers at the same time. We all stumble and fall sometimes. We all make mistakes. We all fail. We all fall to our knees when the punches are too hard.

The teacher is only one step ahead. In other areas the teacher is the student. So look to other people for advice and inspiration and tools, but remember, that the greatest teacher you’ll ever have lives within.

No one else lives your life. No one else knows what you need. No one else is you. You do you. And right now, you are exactly where you need to be. Tomorrow you will be somewhere else.

With all my love,

Helena

Your experience is not objective

Whatever we experience through life is so much less about what we’re experiencing and so much more about what we make of that which we experience. There is no objective reality. I think sometimes we forget.

Let me give you some examples: You come home from work and your apartment is a mess. Does this mean you get to put on some good music, move your body and get your mind off work while you make your living space beautiful? Or does it mean that you have a negligent partner that doesn’t care about you and that you are not going to sit down in the sofa and relax for another 30 minutes?

Your flight is cancelled and you need to wait for an undefined number of hours for the next flight to vacation. Do you feel like all the shit always happens to you, that your vacation time is wasted and that you’re stupid for picking the cheap flight? Or maybe you get to take this time to unwind and start adjusting for another tempo, sit down somewhere quiet, order something hot to drink and sit down to read that book you’ve been longing to read?

Your boss gives you some harsh feedback about that last client meeting. Does this mean that you are miserable at your job, that you don’t deserve to be there or that your boss is a jackass that should never be trusted? Or maybe you just where gifted something, that, if you focus on understanding the feedback, it will really help you get better at your work, and that, no matter what, this has nothing to do with your worth as a human being?

Same events, very different experiences. Start noticing where you normally go when something “bad” happens. This is not a game of perfection, it’s an opportunity for reflection. There is no object reality. We create the life we live through the experiences we shape.

With all my love,

Helena

Fear says hello with everything

As emotional beings, feelings are often mixed and mashed and changing all the time. We can experience pain and gratitude at the same time. Irritation and love. Nervousness and bliss. But fear is different, at least to me. Fear says hello with everything. When fear comes to visit he blocks out the noise of any other emotion that was there previously.

I go on regular check-ups and take blood tests every quarter because of my many diagnosis. This is a clear fear trigger for me. Still. A couple of months back I did a test that showed some deviations. This has happened some times in the past and has self-regulated again, but still, raw fear shows up every time.

First, it’s just all-consuming. Fear says hello with everything. After a while I can distinguish between fear and myself. I call this part of my self “the scared hypochondriac”. All she needs is love.

Days passed and I knew I wouldn’t get another test in a couple of weeks. Fear lingered. I let it. And the interesting thing is that when I let fear take me by its hand and show me worst case scenario it showed me death. I sat with that.

So? If this means I’m going to die young, so be it. I better make the best out of today. This soothed me tremendously. First I thought it was odd. Then I just accepted the relief.

As I listened to Oprahs interview with Mark Nepo this morning I was reminded of this. He was standing in the shower one morning when he noticed a lump on his head after having been cancer free for 26 years. After the initial fear had run through him (because fear says hello with everything), he came to the same conclusion: “If I’m now going to die, I might as well enjoy this shower.”

I’m not trying to be morbid here, but, most of us live our lives in total ignorance of death, although it’s the only thing we know for certain. And since none of us know when it’s going to happen, we better just make the best out of this present moment.

With all my love,

Helena

Pros and cons of living in an echo chamber

We live in a time and space where we pretty much can adjust our intake of information and impression completely. We decide what we see on social media by who we’re following and not. We decide what news media we subscribe to and what magazines to buy. We decide what people we want to be with and if they’re not geographically close we can find them anywhere in the world online.

The algorithms of the online world then creates an echo chamber where we can comfortably live and get all of our beliefs mirrored back at us all the time.

I decided years ago to try to choose love over fear in every instance in my life. This meant only following accounts that makes me feel good. Not following the news feed that only focuses on fear and wants us to believe that the world is going to shit when it’s not. Only surrounding myself with open and loving people.

I live in an amazing place. A home that I, my mind and the algorithms sustains for me. I choose to see love everywhere everyday, my mind wants to be right so it constantly looks for evidence to my beliefs about the world being love and the algorithms do their thing. Living here also gives me the energy and stamina to work everyday to spread love and strength and hope in the world.

But I do know there’s other chambers where people choose to live their lives. In fear. Sometimes when I expose myself to that worldview I get really scared too. It’s terrifying to believe that evil exists and that the world is getting worse everyday.

I don’t have an answer to this and I don’t think it’s either way. But I do want to keep reflecting on it and I would love to hear your opinion. What echo chamber are you choosing to live in? How does that choice effect your life and the ones around you?

With all my love,

Helena

What is really naive?

I’m a spiritual person. That doesn't mean I subscribe to any specific religion, just that I believe. Have faith. Trust in something bigger than myself. Some say it’s naive to believe in something we can’t prove.

I say it’s naive to not believe in something greater than this. Who am I to think that this is it? Where would I get the idea that a small part of a humans brain get to decide whether things are real or not through a process we came up with called science? Why would the earth and the people living here for a short while at a time be the center of the universe and all-knowing? That’s absurd to me.

After all, we’re all just souls using a meat covered skeleton made of stardust on a ball floating through infinite space. Or what are we?

What do you think? Is it naive to believe or is it naive not to?

With all my love,

Helena

All or nothing or something in between

I so love this quote from Nisargadatta Maharaj:

Wisdom is knowing I am nothing,
Love is knowing I am everything,
and between the two my life moves.

It’s easy to get caught up in narcissism in this day and age. It’s easy to feel completely annihilated in all the noise. You are nothing. You are everything. Or probably something in between.

We are all one. We all matter. And still, we’re just sprinkles of stardust, part of something so much greater than our individual selves. Both and so much more. Again.

I don’t want to seem to woo-woo here, but I really don’t have much more to say on the subject either. What does this quote stir up in you?

With all my love,

Helena

You don't have to identify with what happened to you

We live in a time where a lot of us share our stories with the world. Whether it is through social media or in blogs or through our life’s work we share what happened to us and the lessons we learned. It’s all very Joseph Campbells The hero’s journey-like and I love it. But to a certain point.

We’ve all been through trauma. Big or small. We’ve all had tough patches in our lives, whether self-inflicted or by someone else. We love to analyze it. But at a certain point it doesn’t really matter where you got it. It’s yours now. And you can decide whether you want to identify with it or not.

First, I identified as the sick person. Then I started identifying with the one who overcame. Now I’m tired of identification all together. I’ve healed, I’ve overcome, and I screw up all the time. I stumble and I fall and I get hurt. Neither is my identity. I’m new every moment if I choose to.

Who do you want to be today? How can you consolidate and learn from what you’ve been through and let yourself be whoever you feel like being, today?

With all my love,

Helena

There's so much to strive for and I'm already there

I started this business with the mission of helping 1 million people reach more of their potential. The number in itself doesn’t mean much to me, because I can’t feel 1 million people, I can only feel one at a time. And I feel one at a time many times a week nowadays.

All the emails, DM’s and comments I still get from being a guest on the Swedish podcast Food Pharmacy (episode 57) the other week: “The interview was so inspiring that I dare to hope again, and I know that I can make a difference in my own life too”. The feedback I got after this talk I did the other day about finding balance in a hectic life: “Thank you for giving me simple tools to increase my everyday life quality”. The coaching clients I see every week that in different ways prove that the work we do together have a great impact on their lives.

This is not about me. It’s about all of them. And looking at each person individually, I see their potential and how they’re showing up for their life more fully. I’m so grateful that I get to be there to witness it happening.

Stil, I’m far from 1 million people. And that’s okay. I will keep going. Everyday in different ways. Stepping into more and more of my potential I know that that act alone is what helps others do the same. There’s so much more I want to do. And I’m already there. Or it’s already here.

What dreams are you still striving for? What have you already accomplished? How can both exist at the same time? Celebrate your accomplishments and dreams fulfilled on your road to more.

With all my love,

Helena