self-compassion

Never stop learning, always be kind

As we’re on the home stretch of my online course the theme and common challenge for my participants is getting clear: Kindness as we learn. Change can be uncomfortable although it’s happening all the time.

The course participants are on a journey of discovering and re-discovering some of the most powerful practices of staying in the driver seat of their own life. Avoiding victim mentality, where powerlessness resides, and finding joy in the moment and gratitude for it all.

Our inner critic easily awake as we learn something new. She’s often resting as we go about our day, doing things as we use to, following the routine, staying in our comfort zone. But as soon as we get out there, stretch, live fully or try something we’ve never done before or something we might have “failed” at before, she becomes wide awake.

What do you think you’re doing?

You’ll never make it!

Who do you think you are?

What if you fail?

But truth is, these are your options: Either you succeed or you learn. Because everything is progress. Success can be sweet but truth be told, we usually learn more when we don’t. So why do we fear failure if we’re here to learn in the first place?

It probably has evolutionary explanations, as do all of our fearful thoughts. But remember this sweetheart, you’re all grown up now and you can take care of yourself. So the dreaded exclusion for the group that your inner child is fearing, that will probably never happen in the first place, is not the end of the world. It might actually be a blessing in disguise. Because that too, is an opportunity for growth.

What’s most important in life class is self-compassion as we practice. Self-compassion as we grow. Self-compassion as we “fail”. You can have your own back. And if you need some extra support, I got you too.

With all my love,

Helena

Letting people see the darkness

As you probably know if you read these posts regularly, one of my themes of development right now is self-compassion. Something made the insight of what it practically means land in me a few weeks ago. After one of those meaningful insights there always a re-orientation happening in the weeks following. It's as if everything needs to be looked at again but from a new perspective. 

Where my weakness lies I don't want to let others in because that's where I can't love myself. And where I can't love myself I find it unlikely that anyone else would. This is a real dilemma since no one can show me I'm lovable until I give them a chance to love me everywhere and I find it hard to let anyone in where I don't love myself.

I have a strong inkling this is one of the main themes of my next book. I'll let you in on my progress and hopefully, I'll also let you in to my weakness.

With all my love,

Helena 

Self-compassion when you don't like yourself

We all have good and bad days. I find myself needing to remind myself that that's okay, also for me. I'm not that special. And on those bad days, I find that my greatest tool is self-compassion. It's interesting to me that this is quite a new realization and I'm okay with that. 

I've been really good at loving myself when life's smooth and easy but I have a tendency to judge and criticize myself when I'm not in a good place. Isn't that funny? And not very fruitful. 

Love me the most when I deserve it the least for that's when I need it the most. 

I grew up with this saying but I had forgotten about it and it's just recently that I truly realized that it also applies to myself. And the same goes for you. 

Are you good at this? Loving yourself the most when you feel you deserve it the least? Love is always the answer. It's the light at the end of the tunnel. Grateful to always be learning. 

With all my love,

Helena