Living deliberately

Deliberate living is deciding how you want to feel first and then getting into action. Whether or not you get what you want is not as important when you have already experienced the feeling you want to feel. And the neat thing is that you attract what you feel, so when you're aligned with your favorite feelings you'll attract more of that which creates those feelings for you. 

Default living is actioning yourself through life and hoping for some good feelings along the way, usually only when you get the outcome that you wished for. 

You decide what perspective you want. 

With all my love,


Responsible for all of it

What would happen if you took full responsibility for everything in your life? 

Actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings. All of it. This doesn't mean that you take responsibility for anyone else's actions because that's not your responsibility, it means you take responsibility for your reactions to their actions. 

If someone did you wrong - how do you respond? It's actually not the other persons responsibility if you choose to carry resentment by not forgiving. Nor is it their responsibility if you choose to react by trying to get even. That's your responsibility and your choice. 

If you go through a rough time and get caught in victimhood and can't find your way out. Do you stay there and get bitter or do you get the help you need to get yourself out and back to your empowered self? 

I'm not saying any of this is easy, I'm just saying it's possible. And my claim is also that your life will improve when you make the conscious choice to always lean towards empowerment and out of victimhood. 

With all my love,


Keep your expectations general

I notice that I have a natural attitude of having a positive perspective on the future. I always expect the best. Sure, I might worry about something coming up next week or be nervous about something but in general, I expect all my dreams to come true. I know that's not reality for everyone and I'm so grateful for this attitude. 

However, it creates really high expectations. Sometimes they're not fulfilled. It hurts. Yet, I don't want to lower my expectations because they're so sweet in the meantime. At the same time, it's the gap between expectations and reality that creates unhappiness. These are two of the solutions I've found to this paradox, so far:

  • Be general and more emotional based in your expectations. Don't latch onto details or to what other people should or shouldn't do. Keep it to a feeling and to the things that you yourself can actually do something about. 
  • When the expectations are no longer in the future, but in your present moment, let them go and be with what is, no matter what that might be. 

Do you agree? How do handle expectations that make you trip in the present? 

With all my love,

Your intuition is always in alignment

Remember this; your inner being, or intuition, is always in alignment. The reason you're feeling so bad when you're feeling bad is because of the gap between you and your inner being. That's what hurts. 

This is good news. It means that, no matter what, a part of you is always where you want to be. Use this as comfort. 

A first step to close the gap is to let go of resistance to the fact that you feel the gap. Accept where you are. 

Ask your intuition - what do I need to do to get closer to you right now? Don't be surprised if your answers are beyond wise. Don't give up if you get nothing back. Let go of resistance to that too and believe in yourself. You know what you need to do. 

With all my love,


What would this look like if it were easy?

This question is from Tim Ferriss' new book Tribe of Mentors and I think it's brilliant. Why do we always make things so complicated? What if it were easy? 

Next time you hit a road block in your life, ask yourself some clarifying questions;

  • Why am I doing this in the first place? What's my why? 
  • Are all the steps in this process the best ones? Are there any I could eliminate and still get where I want to go? 
  • Is doing this work helping me feel what I really want to feel today? If not, how can I get to feel what I'm aiming to feel right now, still working towards my goal? 
  • Can I get help with this? 
  • How can I make this more fun? 

We're not meant to strive and force. We're meant to flow. How can you live a little more effortlessly today? 

With all my love,


Feeding happiness

There are countless different theories on emotions and how many baseline emotions humans have. One of the most prominent is Robert Plutchik's wheel of emotions that identifies eight basic emotions; joy, sadness, trust, disgust, fear, anger, surprise, and anticipation. More recent studies from Glasgow have narrowed this down further to only four irreducible emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, and fear.

Where wired to look out for trouble. That's how we've survived this far. Out of the four irreducible emotions three would be classified as "negative"; sadness, anger and fear. Whereas happiness is the light energy one. Sadness, anger and fear will all visit us from time to time during the course of our lifetime, we don't need to feed them. We need to feed happiness though, some say we even have to work for it.

It's not a race or a competition, still, we need to make conscious choices of where we want to wander when we're at baseline in our lives, when things just move along. How do you feed your happiness? Do you know what actions, people and circumstances help you get there more often? We don't need to run from the uncomfortable emotions, but we certainly don't need to chase them either, they always find us. 

I realize more and more that what I actually work with is mental training. In myself and in my clients. We program the brain to track and look for happiness, in the small things in life. Maybe I can help you too? 

With all my love,


The art of choosing love

I talk a lot about choosing love over fear, but sometimes I get questions that makes me realize that this is a really lofty concept. Here's one way to make it more tangible. 

Love is light and expansive. Fear is dark, heavy and contractive. Whenever you are experiencing and following an emotion that feels light and expansive, you are following love. Whenever not you're being lead by fear. It doesn't mean that it's all bad to be in fear, but we shouldn't be lead by it. 

When making a decision for example, make the choice that makes you feel expansive. For me, those kinds of emotions are longing, curiosity, excitement, joy or anticipation. When I feel those feelings, I know I'm choosing love. 

We need to feel the contractive emotions as well sometimes, but we shouldn't make life altering decisions or communicate too much with the outer world when we're in that state. Be there, and feel it, and when you've processed whatever needs processing, go out and live and produce and share again. 

This is no easy business to explain or riff on because there's both and so much more. But this is today's take. Let me know if you have another! 

With all my love,