Accept judgement and criticism

Most people don’t really enjoy judgement or criticism. A lot of us are people pleasers that only want others to like us. Which, we also know, is practically impossible. But still we try, to fix, to adjust, to please. All because we don’t want the judgement or criticism.

But what if we could just accept that judgement and criticism is part of life? That it will happen to us whether we fight our whole lives to avoid it or we simply live our lives regardless of what other people might think?

It’s usually the resistance to whatever scares us that ends up hurting us more. Because what we resists persists. Which means, acceptance gives us freedom. Acceptance increases the possibility of the icky feeling moving through faster, and not lingering too long. Also, if we could accept judgement and criticism as part of life endless possibilities open up, we can do whatever we want!

Also, what other people think of you is none of your business, it’s their business. And it usually tells you a lot more about them, and how they’re suffering, than it tells you anything new about you.

Don’t be afraid of people not liking you. Some people just don’t. And they won’t. That’s okay. Focus on the ones that do love you, they deserve all of your attention.

With all of my love,

Helena

I've missed you!

It's been too long! I've been so focused on other things that I've forgotten how much I love writing on a regular basis. Writing without pressure. Writing for the love of it. Writing to understand myself better. And hopefully, writing to support you. 

There might be some changes to the blog in the fall but for now, I'll keep on writing. Because of the love I have for it. These are my thoughts and feelings. This is a part of my universe. I will probably post Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday, just like I used to, but we'll see how it flows. Right now, writing in general is what flows so that's what I'll do. 

With all my love, Helena 

Letting people see the darkness

As you probably know if you read these posts regularly, one of my themes of development right now is self-compassion. Something made the insight of what it practically means land in me a few weeks ago. After one of those meaningful insights there always a re-orientation happening in the weeks following. It's as if everything needs to be looked at again but from a new perspective. 

Where my weakness lies I don't want to let others in because that's where I can't love myself. And where I can't love myself I find it unlikely that anyone else would. This is a real dilemma since no one can show me I'm lovable until I give them a chance to love me everywhere and I find it hard to let anyone in where I don't love myself.

I have a strong inkling this is one of the main themes of my next book. I'll let you in on my progress and hopefully, I'll also let you in to my weakness.

With all my love,

Helena 

I asked for a human experience

I believe I was part of the decision of coming here. To this earth. To this experience. At this time. It was a deliberate decision from my soul to go here now to learn what my soul needs to learn. To grow and expand. 

And in that process, I specifically asked for a human experience. 

Humans have flaws. Humans have raging emotions. Humans have fears and egos and judgements. I asked for all of it. Because I wanted to see if I could transcend. Not avoid, transcend. That's a big difference. 

And even though I feel myself evolving everyday (though sometimes it might feel like I'm going backwards) I'm still human and that's what I'm here to experience. 

There are no enlighten people, there are only more and more enlightened moments. And in between those moments, I'm happy with the bumpy ride that is this human experience. 

With all my love,

Helena

Behind every negative behavior hides a fear

Back to the basics, there is only love and fear, and fear is not real.

People that are happy with themselves, feel loved and valued, live in accordance with their values and take good care of themselves have no reason to behave poorly towards another human being. That's the truth. And the same goes for you. And me. 

Sure, sometimes we haven't slept well and so we snap at the bus driver. Or we haven't eaten in a while so leave our partner with a mean comment. But if we go to the root of who we are and why we're here; we want to do good. And we want to be good. To others. To ourselves. To the world.

If we fail with this it's because we're afraid of something. What's your fear? 

With all my love,
Helena  

The debate about what's healthy

If you ask ten people what they think is healthy you will probably get ten different answers. It's a highly subjective thing. Or it's a media thing. Or it's a current research thing. Or it's a trend thing. Whatever, it varies. 

To me, health is love. It's common sense and it's individual. 

Hating the way your body look and therefor dragging yourself to the gym to do something you don't enjoy is not loving, therefore not healthy. 

Blaming your body for its flaws and punishing it with shutting off its signals (your symptoms) with suppressants is not loving, therefore not healthy. 

Loving you and loving the tool you got to express yourself here (your body) is the way to a healthy life. 

Listen for the signs. Ask for the guidance. And love what is. No matter what is. Because the opposite will never take you to wherever you want to go. You can't force yourself to true holistic health, but you can definitely flow there, with love. 

With all my love,

Helena 

I write to reciprocate the flow

I've been blogging for six years now. Patiently, playfully, persistently. Sometimes it's been everyday, sometimes a couple of times a week and since a few years three posts a week. Writing, writing, writing. 

If you've been following me for a while you know that the topics vary but it's mostly sharing recent lessons from my own life or just plain reflections. From time to time I'm behind in schedule and in those instances I feel a bit stressed about it but for the most part it's pure pleasure and it's just flow. I never read the posts after I've written them, I just let them go as they are. (So sorry for any misspellings or weird phrases)

I write to understand myself. I write to understand the world. I write because that's what I do. I write to reciprocate the flow of everything coming to me; inspiration, events, thoughts and ideas. I don't really know how not to write. 

However, on my quest for living in alignment and following flow and guidance I've decided to not be so strict with myself on the three posts a week thing. I don't want to live my life out of should and I don't want to force anything in my business. Maybe the schedule will stay the same, maybe it'll shift from week to week. I don't know yet, that's sort of the point. 

Anyhow, just wanted to let you in on my thoughts around this. I would love to hear yours! What do you like about the blog? What would you want to see more or less of? Is the schedule important to you? 

Til next time!
With all my love,
Helena

Self-compassion when you don't like yourself

We all have good and bad days. I find myself needing to remind myself that that's okay, also for me. I'm not that special. And on those bad days, I find that my greatest tool is self-compassion. It's interesting to me that this is quite a new realization and I'm okay with that. 

I've been really good at loving myself when life's smooth and easy but I have a tendency to judge and criticize myself when I'm not in a good place. Isn't that funny? And not very fruitful. 

Love me the most when I deserve it the least for that's when I need it the most. 

I grew up with this saying but I had forgotten about it and it's just recently that I truly realized that it also applies to myself. And the same goes for you. 

Are you good at this? Loving yourself the most when you feel you deserve it the least? Love is always the answer. It's the light at the end of the tunnel. Grateful to always be learning. 

With all my love,

Helena