Don't go looking for pain

I try to live my life according to the principle of pleasure. It’s difficult because my mind, just as most of ours, has something called the negativity bias. This means it looks for problems and threats, just because that used to be the reason humans would survive in the wild.

We don’t live in the wild anymore and most threats are made up in our minds, although our mind is not smart enough to realize when the threat is made up and when there’s an actual tiger in front of us. So we need to practice. Looking for pleasure instead of looking for pain.

No matter how many problems you have and what you’re struggling with right now, you are not obliged to constantly think about your pain points. It’s not responsible. Responsible is setting aside time for taking appropriate action towards solving your problem, feeling your feelings around the issue, asking for help, but just as much letting it go, staying with the present, giving it space and taking pleasure in life.

You know when you wake up in the morning and you actually feel fine but your mind goes on a hunt for the problem at hand. As if it’s the job of the mind to never lose track of it. Catch it before it finds it. Take charge by filling your mind with the beauty in your life, the moments of bliss, all the things you have to be grateful for. Pain will unfortunately find you, you don’t have to go looking for it.

With all my love,


Responsible for all of it

What would happen if you took full responsibility for everything in your life? 

Actions, reactions, thoughts and feelings. All of it. This doesn't mean that you take responsibility for anyone else's actions because that's not your responsibility, it means you take responsibility for your reactions to their actions. 

If someone did you wrong - how do you respond? It's actually not the other persons responsibility if you choose to carry resentment by not forgiving. Nor is it their responsibility if you choose to react by trying to get even. That's your responsibility and your choice. 

If you go through a rough time and get caught in victimhood and can't find your way out. Do you stay there and get bitter or do you get the help you need to get yourself out and back to your empowered self? 

I'm not saying any of this is easy, I'm just saying it's possible. And my claim is also that your life will improve when you make the conscious choice to always lean towards empowerment and out of victimhood. 

With all my love,


The art of allowing

So often in our society today we talk about all the things we can't tolerate, behavior that we perceive as intolerable. Sometimes we need to get over it so we decide to tolerate. Tolerating a person or a behavior is a silent resistance. Intolerance is the loud resistance. 

Nothing is right or wrong but I do believe we need to practice the art of allowing also. Allowing requires letting go of resistance altogether. It's surrendering. It's about accepting fully. 

I'm practicing allowing with myself right now. With people that I think "should" live in a different way. With states of the world that I don't agree with. I practice faith, patience and trust as well. It's not always easy but I realize that when I start from that place I can easier sort through the emotions, expectations and messy thoughts and faster get to the core. To what is actually important. To the next right action. From alignment. Not resistance. 

Allow life to unfold. Allow people to be who they are. Allow the world to be as it is. And when it's time for you to get into action, you will now for sure. 

With all my love,

Every action creates a reaction

This is the law of the universe, we can't avoid it and we don't want to. We need to be aware. That for every action towards yourself or others, there will be a reaction.

If a painful reaction is neglected it might be like the hot potato that Glennon Melton so beautifully talks about. We treat pain as a hot potato, trying to pass it on to the other person when we're to scared to deal with our own pain.

Some people are the type that think they are really good at suppressing the reaction, with stress, suffering and, in the long run, disease as the consequence. 

We can't do anything about the laws of the universe but we can be aware of them and obey when needed. If you, or someone else, acts in a way that hurts you, deal with the reaction. Maybe you need to be extra kind to yourself and listen to the painful emotions. Maybe you need to scream into a pillow or hit something that don't hurt. Maybe you need to set up some really clear boundaries. 

And on the flip side, every loving action comes with a reaction of love. Remember this too. No loving act will ever go unnoticed. So, be aware, and make conscious choices about how you act and react. 

With all my love,


Don't wait for confidence before you act

It's not you waiting that will give you the confidence you want, it's you acting. It's by doing the things that scare you that you realize you can get confident. It's not the other way around. 

I love how Mastin Kipp puts it:

If you're not in mortal danger, fear is a compass showing you where to go. 

You don't have to of course, it's always up to you. But if you want to live the life of your dreams, you've got to dare to be the person you need to be to live that dream. If the life of your dreams is inside your comfort zone then stay, if it's something else, get going. Move, and try, and dare, and you'll notice with time, what once scared you is now easy-peasy and what was once totally in your risk zone is now only a light stretch. Act how you want to feel and the confidence is just an added bonus.

With all my love,


What if your obstacle is your to-do?

Looking ahead into a brand New Year to come, most of us set goals in both business and personal life. I try to live by my Core Desire Feelings but still, I realize that concrete goals help me structure my business in a way that feels really good to me. 

Our goals sometimes feel far away or as if we can't reach them because there's too much blocking us. Too many obstacles. But what if the obstacles we perceive is just a to-do and not an obstacle at all. Let me give you some examples.

My goal is to write a book but I don't know how to write/ publish/ edit/ structure it so I can't. Therefore my first to-do is to learn how to write/ publish/ edit/ structure. 

My goal is to find a house by the water but I don't know where to find it/ don't have the money. Therefore my to-do is to ask someone if they know of good locations, good brokers etc/ figure out a way to save/ make the money I need. 

My goal is to heal my body to full functionality and no pain but I don't think I can/ don't know how it works/ don't believe in its ability. Therefore my to-do is to find inspiration, information and build the faith I need to tap/ leave room for the body's self-healing powers. 

Whatever goal your aiming at in the new year - don't focus on the obstacle, realize what you need to do to get there and take small daily action in the right direction. 

And just a reminder, make sure you get to feel today the way that goal would make you feel in the future. 

With all my love,