When short time protection creates long time harm

We wanna protect the people we have around us, I get it, especially the children. But what if a cotton-candy-wrapped life is the worst gift to give someone?

How could you possibly learn about your own resilience without being exposed to situations when you need it? How can you know how strong you are if you never need to be strong?

I think we might be protecting kids a bit too much today. With two consequences; they don’t learn to develop the resilience that will undoubtedly be needed later in life and we we give them a frame of reference of what life could look like (in the cotton-candy-world) that will most likely never be matched in their adult life and so they might always be disappointed with how difficult life with responsibilities can be.

But I think we sometimes do that with each other as well. Someone comes to us with a problem, worry or pain and we “cotton-candy” all over it. Pretending as if life might not be quite difficult for a while. Because life is sometimes, for all of us. That’s okay.

What if the better thing to say is simply, yes, it might be difficult for a bit but I’ll be here with you. Yes, you can’t control everything so you might as well be with what is right now and trust that you’ll be able to deal with whatever if it happens later. Yes, this is hard but you are strong and you’ve survived so far.

All is well and all will be well. But still, it’s freaking hard being human sometimes. it’s part of our evolution. But we can handle it, we are strong. But to know our strength we need to flex our muscles from time to time.

Don’t only protect the people you love, stand with them in the storm and show them how capable they truly are.

With all my love,

Helena

Life only gets better...

… when you’re on a journey of personal growth.

So many people seem to be scared of getting older and we sure do live in a society where younger is preferred in most instances.

It’s my absolute experience that life only gets better the older I get, even though there’s continuous ups and downs along the way. But the older I get the more I learn, and the more I understand that I don’t understand and that is a blessing. The more time I’ve lived in this human experience the softer and kinder I get and that’s everything to me.

In some traditions and cultures “the elders” are highly respected and well taken care of. Seen as the wisest in the group. That’s not how we see it in our society most of the time.

But to me there is also a difference between the ones committed to their personal growth and those who aren’t. Having lived a long time without reflection is merely minutes counted. Having lived many years unconscious doesn’t guarantee that you do get wiser with age. Quite the opposite might be true because without reflection and consciousness you might actually become more and more of this world and less and less connected to what’s really true, more fear filled and less in touch with the source of love. And so you get less wise with age.

If you’re committed to your personal growth and spiritual path life will only get better with age. That’s a choice you make. And people who are wise will be more and more valuable and valued in our society to come, I’m sure of it.

Are you committed to your growth?

With all my love,

Helena

Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter?

Brendon Burchard asks these questions to himself every night and I think they are really powerful. They came to him in a near death experience, and even though it's sad that that's what it takes to finally get it, we can be wise enough to learn from others experiences. 

First off, though, I think it's important to define what the words mean to you, personally. When do you feel most alive? What ingredients does a life well lived have to you? 

How do you define love? When do you experience love? You know, love isn't anything anyone else can give us, it's an emotion that is evoked in us by different experiences or people. What evokes the feeling of love in you? In what circumstances and with whom? How do you share your love with the world?

What does contribution look like to you? When do you feel like you matter? What days feel really meaningful to you? 

I know these are some really big questions, but you know me, that's where I dwell. So, give yourself some space to reflect on what this means to you and ask yourself: Did I live? Did I love? Did I matter? 

With all my love,

Helena

What if the door closing is a good thing?

I believe we have two choices in our life’s perspective. Sure, there’s always grey areas but in this case it’s a pretty much either or. Either you think there’s a meaning to your life and what happens in it or you think everything is random. It’s a choice you make. You’ll never get the definite answer but the choice you make will definitely affect every day of your life.

What if rejection is protection? What if what you wanted wasn’t actually for you and you’re being guided to something else, better for you?

What if the thing not working out as you may have wished taught you something invaluable that will benefit you forever?

What if the person walking in the door right now is there to teach you something about life and love?

I’ve decided to make meaning of everything happening in my life. I trust that even if things don’t always go as planned I’m deeply taken care of and things are working out for the best outcome for everyone. Whenever I try to manifest anything or pray for what I want I always end with “this or something better”. And I believe that what shows up is better.

This doesn’t mean we can’t be bummed out or mad about things falling apart. It just means that we choose to believe that there is a higher purpose, even when I can’t see it.

What choice have you made in your life? How does that choice make you feel? You know that you can always choose again, in every moment.

With all my love,

Helena

Sometimes action is what you need

Clarity comes from engagement, not thought.

- Marie Forleo

Analysis paralysis is a real thing. Sometimes we need to get going, start, trial and error, to get the clarity that we’re looking for.

As you know I’m all about alignment before action. As in not working on your most important manifestations before you’re in the state of feeling what you want to create more of. Because, you attract what you are. And when you’re a mess and get into action you’re more likely to attract more messiness. When you act from a space of gratitude you’re much more likely to attract more things to be grateful for.

But still, there are times to act when we’re unclear. Confused. Feel weak. Not aligned. Because it’s the action that gives you clarity, direction and power. To me, there’s a difference.

I remember a poem from my childhood that read:

Guide me on my way Lord, I need not see the whole path, just give me light enough to see the next step.

I loved that then and I still do. I don’t know what will happen in the future, all I can focus on is the next step. And it’s usually movement and action. If I just keep putting one foot in front of the other, the path will appear, one step at a time. That’s all I need.

It doesn’t happen sitting still on my but, waiting for everything to be clear, waiting for everything to be swell before I act. Sometimes I need to act for it to be so. In order to get back into alignment. Don’t get busy for the sake of busyness, sometimes stillness is what we need. But I do know, if you listen in, you will know the difference.

With all my love,

Helena

I love helping you

How come we think we’re so special. Or, it’s just me (although that’s not my experience). Why do I think I’m so special. When people reach out for help and I get the opportunity to support them, in whatever shape they need supporting, big or small, it makes me feel good. How come I so often believe that’s not the case for someone else helping or supporting me?

Sure, when people ask for our time, energy or resources, we need to check in first. Do I have enough right now to share? But honestly, I most often do and I even get energized from having helped someone out. It’s a win-win.

I’ve had a tendency (look at that, past tense, as in not any more) to isolate instead of reaching out. Let’s all, collectively, stop that right now. So much of what’s painful in our world today is because of lack of connection and support and too much loneliness.

I love helping you. So I’m gonna believe that you can love supporting me too. And if it’s not a good time for you right now, I trust you to say no. And I trust myself enough to not take that personally and remember that we live in an abundant universe, and so, there’s enough to go around.

It’s an honor to help you.

With all my love,

Helena

Lost in mind, observing mind, no mind

I’ve reflected on this topic more intently in the last couple of and every time I try to explain it to myself or others it somehow slips away. Because, you know, the mind, and moving beyond it, it’s hard to explain and needs to be experienced. But if you know me at all you also know that I always start before I’m ready and I don’t let very much stop me. So here goes a concept that I’d love your input on.

Lost in mind, observing mind and no mind.

Lost in mind is where most of us spend most of our time. Thoughts going in all directions and emotions following right after. We’re constantly reacting to everything going on around us and sometimes even believe in the things our mind tells us. The mind is your master.

Observing mind is taking a step back. Looking at all this craziness with some distance. Not identifying with the thoughts but rather witnessing what’s going on and consciously deciding what to act on and what to let go of. This is mainly what meditation helps you develop. Being the observer of your mind.

No mind is what happens when it all quiets down and you are only in the now. Pure consciousness. It’s not a very common thing in our society but it is a sweet place to dwell in. But the tricky thing is, since your mind is not really present in this state it’s difficult to notice when it happens. Your mind will probably argue that it never happens because it can’t register what it does not see.

Someone said that there are no enlightened people, there are only more and more enlightened moments. And for people who have lots of those moments, the mind is like the ventilation on the other side of the room. It’s constantly buzzing over there, but you’re not in the ventilation drum so you just hear it as a light buzz far away. Most of us spend our time in the ventilation drum constantly being thrown in all kinds of directions. When we step out of the ventilation system and look at it instead we’re in observing mind. When we move away from the ventilation and pay attention to the present we move to no mind.

Hmm, yeah, this feels quite accurate. To my mind at least. Well. Let me know your thoughts on this and what works for you when you try to move from lost in mind to something else.

With all my love,

Helena

I don't have it all figured out

It seems as if people sometimes think that I have it all figured out or that my so called wisdom, makes my life so simple. And maybe I too expect this to be the case. But sorry to say so; I don’t have it all figured out.

Sure, I’ve written the book and I’ve done my 10 000+ hours on personal development, learning, writing, teaching, pondering and reflecting. But sometimes, I’m a hot mess. I don’t have anything figured out and end up stumbling all over my own tools.

And you know what the worst thing about it is? I blame myself. I shame myself for being human. For being messy. For not figuring it out right away.

I think I need to write this to myself as much as to anyone else. Because what I know will help in those instances, is self-compassion. You know the thing that’s so simple when life’s simple. The thing that is so super difficult (for me) to muster when I mess up.

I really recommend this beautiful epsiode on self-love on Danielle Laportes new podcast “With love, Danielle”. How can you love yourself even when you messed up? How can you love yourself when you get sick, even though you have all the tools for health? How can you love yourself when the things you believed in so deeply, seem to rip at the seems? How can you love yourself when you don’t even like yourself very much?

Those are not easy questions and I don’t have all the answers. But I’m learning. Slowly. And I’m trying my best to apply heaps of compassion to my trials.

With all my love,

Helena