Share, share, share

We are a species used to live in tribes. Human beings have been around for about 50 000 years but it’s only in the last 10 000 years that we would gather in larger groups than 150 or so. In these giants groups of people that we now create in companies and in our society it’s really easy to disappear in the crowd. But we need real human connection, we all need to be seen, heard and valued.

You will stand out from the crowd when you show your real self. When you share of yourself and your story. That’s how we connect.

I meet so many people who feel so lonely and isolated. Who don’t have anyone to share their life and their struggles with. If only you would all find each other and realize that you’re not alone in feeling lonely. We all do that. But there’s an antidote and that’s sharing. Sharing of our lives. And when you start others will follow.

Sure, there’s a risk that people won’t get you. That’s okay. It might hurt for a bit but you’ll get past it, and it will be worth it.

So, please share. Of yourself, your talents and gifts, of your stories and your pain. Share yourself with the world and you’ll find that your not alone at all. We’re all there, being human with you.

With all my love,

Helena

What's easy in ease is so difficult when things are difficult

Life really is 10% of what happens to us and 90% how we react to and deal with it. I believe this and it’s my own-lived experience.

But the confirmation bias in our minds can play tricks on us. It means that if we’ve made up our mind that everything is working out for us and that life is good, then that’s what our mind will go looking for proof to. And on the opposite, if you believe that life is out to get you and that you just don’t have it in you to create a good life for yourself, well, that’s what your mind will be looking for. And ultimately, that’s the reality you’ll manifest.

That’s why what's easy in ease is so, god damn, hard when things are difficult. Because when you’re in pain you’re looking at the world with that lens. And when you’re in love with life, love is all you see.

So, how do we get around this? Well, your confirmation bias is based on the belief you’re holding. And beliefs are just thoughts we keep repeating. So when you change the words you change your world. And it would really be this easy when in ease. But it isn’t all that easy when things are difficult, are they?

I don’t have a definitive answer to how we change our thoughts when things are difficult because it feels so freaking hard. But I do know this; this too shall pass. And whatever you are learning right now, will be a gift you’ll get to enjoy in the future. I promise you that. I promise me that.

With all my love,

Helena

Core Desired Feelings in action

I’m standing in my bathroom, brushing teets and looking at my core desired feelings on my bathroom mirror. Faith. Joy. Community. Alignment. Authenticity. What can I do today to get to feel the way I most want to feel?

This is how I start my everyday. Core desired feelings in mind when deliberately planning my day.

Faith - my morning practice, starting with gratitude for what I have and by meditating and listening inwards.

Joy - whenever I get too serious I take a dance break or watch something funny on Youtube.

Community - I make sure I share my everyday life with people that I feel safe with. I invest in my relationships and try to contribute with my light wherever I go. And share my darkness when I need to get it out from the shadow.

Alignment - before action. It’s written everywhere in my productivity planner. Because it’s my absolute experience that whatever I share and create in alignment gives love ripples everywhere for both me and the people affected by me. When out of alignment I deal with what brought me out of alignment to get back into it.

Authenticity - I try to share as vulnerably as I can. Both online and in the in the real world. Or both are real to me. I wanna live my life close to my heart and I listen to others with my whole being.

Here I am again, before bed, in front of my bathroom mirror, brushing teeth. How has this day been? Well, the more of my core desired feelings I’ve created the better the day. It’s as simple as that. Because life is nothing but a long string of moments patched together by time. And we can create so many magical moments in a day, by being aware of the way we want to feel and how to go about creating those feelings in our lives.

If you wanna know more about this process (are in Stockholm and understand Swedish) check out this retreat that I’ve created in November. It’ll be a magical weekend!

With all my love,

Helena

Infinite patience gives immediate results

That’s a quote from A Course of Miracles. Because when you know it’s yours to come, you have all the patience you need to wait forever. It’s the same as what you cannot change you can accept and what you have accepted has already changed.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.

I’m not a very patient person. I just created a technical mess on my website. And instead of taking a pause, breathing for a bit and maybe sleeping on it I asked 10 people simultaneously for help. Because, you know, NOW is the only time.

But what if we could just trust that everything comes in divine timing. That we are taken care of. That we can create all that we dream of, otherwise it would not have been planted in our psyche.

I’m working on this. Patience. Thinking that breathing is a good start. And trusting. And focusing on my circle of influence and letting go of what I can’t control.

What are your best tools for building patience?

With all my love,

Helena

Responsibility leads to power leads to strength leads to change

This is the whole beautiful symphony of Pure Personal Power. When you start taking responsibility of your life, thoughts, feelings, actions, reactions and needs you step into your power. You put yourself at the driver’s seat in your own life. From that position you have all the strength you need to do the changes that you need to make. That’s Pure Personal Power.

From the perspective of the driver’s seat you can easier identify what you can change, what you can leave and what you need to accept. You can consciously choose to leave victim mentality and take yourself to a more empowered state.

From the perspective of the driver’s seat you can ask for what you need and drive away from that which no longer serves you. You can build the support in and around you that will help you grow and evolve.

From the perspective of the driver’s seat you can decide when to pull over and take a break to look at the beautiful scenery around you, or to take a nap.

From the perspective of the driver’s seat you can choose when to speed up and when to slow down, where to turn and the next intercross and how many laps you want to take in the roundabout.

Pure Personal Power is no guarantee to a problem-free life. But it is a recipe for more self-agency and a greater impact on your own life. You are empowered to make informed choices and drive your own car. I’m not saying it’s easy. But I do know it’s possible.

How can you get into the driver’s seat of your own life today?

With all my love,

Helena

When you take nothing for granted you'll grow a grateful heart

I always include gratitude in all my talks, workshops and podcast interviews. Because, it’s magic. When you live with a grateful heart you’re not only a happier person, you’re also a magnet for more things to be grateful for.

It’s one of those things you need to experience for yourself before you can truly understand the value of bringing gratitude into your everyday life. And anyone who has tested it out in their life will testify to its power.

So, I bring it up, over and over again, any opportunity I get, because, I want more magic in our world and I want for you to experience it. And when I do talk about it, those who haven’t experienced the magic of the practice, ask for examples.

Here’s some from top of mind right now;

I’m grateful for the person harvesting the coffee beans for my morning coffee

I’m grateful for the earplugs that allows me to listen to music without disturbing the people around me

I’m grateful for the quality of air going into my lungs right now

I’m grateful for my fingers getting what my mind is telling them to do

I’m grateful for new leafs growing on the trees every spring after they have fallen in autumn

I’m grateful for the freedom I’ve created in my business and life

I’m grateful for faith in my heart

And when I make examples like these sometimes I get the comment; “But most of those things are just normal stuff that we all have. They’re not special enough.” To the first statement; true, there are a lot of things we all have and that might be considered “normal”. To the second statement; false, they are enough. Because what if coffee, music, air, fingers, leafs, freedom and faith where all taken away from you, wouldn’t you miss it?

When you take nothing for granted you’ll grow a grateful heart.

Billions of people on this earth today would do anything to have what you have. It doesn’t mean that you need to feel bad for having it. It means you shouldn’t take it for granted.

When you live with a grateful heart you’re not only a happier person, you’re also a magnet for more things to be grateful for.

With all my love,

Helena

The magic is in the in-between

Some of the positive psychology and positive thinking lingo that’s out there can easily be misunderstood as always being in perfect bliss or never going through rough times. That’s not it.

Life is brutal. And beautiful. Brutiful as Glennon Doyle would put it. But most of life is in the in-between. Just days passing by, mundane, in routine, gloomy, okay, nothing-special-at-all. This is where the magic happens.

Sure, we can do our best to sharpen our peak experiences and make them last or cut off the depth of our rock bottom, but I’m not so sure we’ll succeed. They’re part of life and are experienced best by letting go of resistance and accepting reality as it is.

I love how James Baraz describes this:

Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).

The space where we have the most power over our life quality is in the in-between. While brushing our teeth on a Tuesday morning, commuting to work, in a job meeting, while reading emails, in the grocery line, cooking food, putting the kids to bed, cleaning up, in the sofa, the thoughts as we lay down to sleep. If all those moments are suffering or filled with worry your life quality is likely not very good. If most of those moments are present or filled with gratitude your life quality is likely very good. The magic is in the in-between.

If you want to start somewhere I suggest a gratitude list every morning and every night. It’s the surest way I know of to start building new neuro pathways that will, with practice, change your life. Because, gratitude is the gateway drug to happiness. If we can find gratitude in days passing by, mundane, in routine, gloomy, okay, nothing-special-at-all, we’ve come a long way.

With all my love,

Helena

All of a sudden I felt okay with my body

I’ve had two photo shoots this week. Not that I do a lot of photo shoots but for various reasons two coincided in the same week. And it made me realize: I don’t hate how my body looks anymore.

I learned to love the function of my body during my healing journey and I’ve grown to respect it tremendously. It works its ass off every day to serve me. It does the best it can. And since 7 years back I also do my best to serve it back. We’re a good team.

Still, I didn’t like how it looked. As many women learn to not like the way they look. We’re daily fed with the idea that there’s something wrong with the way we look and that we need to fix that, with various products or diets or fixes. There’s a lot of money involved in the industry of making women feel as if they need to change the way they look. Like millions and trillions.

I’ve been part of that circus and probably somehow still am. But it was a huge realization the other day when I noticed I was actually enjoying being photographed as I focused on the energy I sent out. I wasn’t focused on how my tummy looked or if the angle was good for my thighs or to tense the muscles in my arms. I was totally relaxed, knowing that my worth is not in my looks and that I’m okay.

Nothing has changed with my body. A lot has changed in my thoughts about my body. I’m not sure which have been the main causes for me healing my relationship with my body (and don’t get me wrong, it’s still not a completely uncomplicated relationship). These are a few of the practices I’ve put into to place and I think they combined and over time have helped:

  • I’ve dug into the areas of #healthateverysize and #bodypositivity and listened to podcasts like FoodPshych with Christy Harrisson and Insta accounts like @danikabrysha, @bodyposipanda, @aerie .

  • I’ve unfollowed all the triggering accounts online. Content that makes me feel unworthy or makes me compare instead of inspire are gone.

  • I read the book “Women, Food and God” by Geneen Roth.

  • I’ve started questioning all the “truths” portrayed in media or in the beauty industry. I look for the source, I ask my heart, I select my intake.

I think body love is a gradual process and that it goes back and forth depending on where we’re at in life. But one thing is clear to me; looking a certain way that external sources tell me to look it’s not worth my peace, happiness and mental health. That’s it.

What are your best tips for healing your body image and start loving every part of you?

With all my love,

Helena