Don't wait for confidence before you act

It's not you waiting that will give you the confidence you want, it's you acting. It's by doing the things that scare you that you realize you can get confident. It's not the other way around. 

I love how Mastin Kipp puts it:

If you're not in mortal danger, fear is a compass showing you where to go. 

You don't have to of course, it's always up to you. But if you want to live the life of your dreams, you've got to dare to be the person you need to be to live that dream. If the life of your dreams is inside your comfort zone then stay, if it's something else, get going. Move, and try, and dare, and you'll notice with time, what once scared you is now easy-peasy and what was once totally in your risk zone is now only a light stretch. Act how you want to feel and the confidence is just an added bonus.

With all my love,

Helena 

Use these three powerful questions on yourself

Where am I today? 

Where do I want to be? 

What's stopping me? 

These are three really powerful questions that can get you a long way on your own. Sure, a coach will help you by reflecting back and drilling down to the root by asking more questions, but still, you can get far with just these. Here's an example for you:

Where am I today?

I'm not happy with my job and really want a more fulfilling profession. 

Where do I want to be? 

I'd like to wake up Monday morning feeling like I really long to get to work and get started. I want to feel like what I do really matter. I want to get challenge and support in a good balance. I want to have the freedom to be creative. 

What's stopping me? 

• I don't know what work could be that fulfilling.
• I'm afraid of changing careers and what if I fail.
• I don't know what my passion is. 

So, there you have it. Next steps are generally defined, although they might need to be a bit more specific. Remember, your obstacles are not really obstacles, but to-do's, so get to work. Research different careers and talk with family and friends, work on your self-esteem or get a coach to help you figure out your passion. It's all there. You know what you need to do. 

With all my love,

Helena 

When you're bored, do this!

One of my favorite pastimes when I'm bored is to make lists in my head of all the things I'm grateful for. When in line, in a traffic jam, waiting for a friend. Once you get warmed up, you will probably be so fully filled with appreciation for all the awesomeness in your life that you'll be able to take a dip in the awesome gratitude jacuzzi. 

Is there any better way to pass the time? 

Watch where your mind wanders and you might realize why your life is the way it is. Make conscious decisions about where you direct it and you'll create more of the things you're really grateful for. Give it a try! 

With all my love,
Helena

You attract what you are, not what you want

You knew this. But in the face of a new year I think we all need a reminder. Sure, daily action. Sure, goals with soul. Sure, small, daily steps. Sure, action speaks louder than words. But still, the law of attraction looks at what is. Who are you today? Are you ready for everything you've ever dreamed of? If it all showed up today, would you be fit to receive it? 

Focus rather on being what you want to receive than simply wanting it. If you want to be a successful entrepreneur - how would you be? If you want to go to that dream destination - how would you be? If you want that relationship - how would you be? How would you be once you're at your goal? Then go be just that, right now. 

With all my love,

Helena

What if your obstacle is your to-do?

Looking ahead into a brand New Year to come, most of us set goals in both business and personal life. I try to live by my Core Desire Feelings but still, I realize that concrete goals help me structure my business in a way that feels really good to me. 

Our goals sometimes feel far away or as if we can't reach them because there's too much blocking us. Too many obstacles. But what if the obstacles we perceive is just a to-do and not an obstacle at all. Let me give you some examples.

My goal is to write a book but I don't know how to write/ publish/ edit/ structure it so I can't. Therefore my first to-do is to learn how to write/ publish/ edit/ structure. 

My goal is to find a house by the water but I don't know where to find it/ don't have the money. Therefore my to-do is to ask someone if they know of good locations, good brokers etc/ figure out a way to save/ make the money I need. 

My goal is to heal my body to full functionality and no pain but I don't think I can/ don't know how it works/ don't believe in its ability. Therefore my to-do is to find inspiration, information and build the faith I need to tap/ leave room for the body's self-healing powers. 

Whatever goal your aiming at in the new year - don't focus on the obstacle, realize what you need to do to get there and take small daily action in the right direction. 

And just a reminder, make sure you get to feel today the way that goal would make you feel in the future. 

With all my love,

Helena

You're more free than you think

It seems everyone is looking to be free. But do we really know what it is? Free with time. Free from judgements. Free from expectations. Free to speak. Free to act. Free to be whoever you want to be. Have you defined your own longing? 

What if you are more free than you think? What are the cages you've built around yourself? Are they really real? 

I think we sometimes feel caged when we're not. We use all the should's and have to's as excuses to hide from our own freedom. The change of perspective to need and want can give you the freedom you're seeking. You're responsible for your own life and your choices. This also gives you permission to let go of some of the things you feel are keeping you chained. That is if you want or need it, not because I say so. 

The lack of freedom we sense in our life is more something we keep affirming than any object reality. 

I've also been thinking a lot about whether total freedom is really something to strive for and something that really feels free, but more on that in another post. For now, reflect on what freedom means to you. And then, start affirming more of it in your own life. 

With all my love,

Helena 

Change your expectations for appreciation

Christmas is upon us. So much pressure on only a few days. Things don't always go as planned, or  as we might have wished for. The food taste bad. Someone got sick. There's conflict in the middle of celebrations. The kids are unhappy with their gifts. You feel extra lonely. There's more rain than snow. That annoying relative is more annoying than usual. You have a headache. 

Sorry to be a bummer day before Christmas, but hey, just trying to rid your expectations. Skip them. Trade them for appreciation. That smile on a loved ones face. The piece of chocolate that just melted in your mouth. The lights in the dark. The wonderful smell of childhood memories. A warm hug. The stillness before everyone arrives. That song you love. 

It might all be there, at the same time. You decide where you put your focus. Change your expectations for appreciation.

With all my love,

Helena 

What do you need in order to heal?

How often do you ask yourself that question? We so often look outside for answers that reside inside. No one else knows you how you do. No one else knows your body better than you. 

Sometimes when I mention this people get scared; No, that's not right, my doctor knows what I need and how to fix this. My therapist knows how to make me feel better. My mum knows what to do. This expert just wrote an article on the subject. 

I'm sorry to break it to you; you can't delegate the responsibility for your own life to anyone else. Sure, doctors, therapists, mums and experts may have more current information on the subject, they may have experience that you don't and they may be particularly wise, but still, the responsibility stays with you. And sometimes, most times, you know what you need. 

Take advice, information and insight from others, and then, ask yourself: What do I need in order to heal? 

With all my love,

Helena