What your life looks like versus how it feels

As a lot of us are getting back to our routines after a summer break this is a time for life reflection. To me, this feels like a more energizing new start than the new year as I have more energy and the break from everyday life has been longer than the one I usually have over Christmas and New Years. As my intuition gave me a question a few weeks back I wanted to share it with you too in hopes that it might spark some inspiration if you’re also in some kind of “life review state”:

Are you more concerned about what your life looks like rather than how it feels to you? 

It’s so easy to get into comparison mode and life our lives according to our own/ societies’/ our families’ expectations. We design our lives according to what we think it should look like, not how we actually would prefer it ourselves. Many of us have this clear view of what a “picture perfect” life should look like and we suffer more the longer from reality that we currently perceive ourselves to be. But what does it feel like when you actually feel into your life? What do you feel about it then?

The question is not; why isn’t my life panning out the way I expected it to or how my mind wanted it to be? The question is; what life am I being called to live now? What am I being guided to next? And most of all; how does it feel to be me? If I’m not satisfied with what is; how can I tweak it according to my intuition’s guidance? (not the norm or societal or mind expectations) I’m here to live my life. You’re here to live your life. 

We’re not all meant to copy each other. I believe that’s the behavior that is causing a lot of the challenges in the world today. We’re meant to be aware of the awareness that we are and play with the play dough that is our human experience. Sometimes that fits in to the current cultural norm, sometimes not. If we all would do that we would see a lot more variety in how we choose to co-create our lives with life/ the Universe/ Love/ god, whatever you want to call it. It’s not that the norm is wrong, just that the norm is too narrow for all of us to fit in there. 

It’s been coming up for me in so many ways this year; making the puzzle pieces fit together. You are your own puzzle piece and I am mine. When I fully embody mine, by being true to my essence and who I came here to be, I fulfill my life purpose by just being me. I believe it’s the same for all of us. But you can’t be my puzzle piece and I can’t be yours and we can’t all hold the same puzzle piece because that will never make a beautiful puzzle. The pieces are all perfectly different and so are we. 

So, what would happen if we focused more on how we feel about our lives rather than how it looks or what everyone else is doing? Do you feel true? Do you feel like you? Are you following your own inner guidance and the natural flow of your own life? That’s what you’re here to do. Be true. Be you. Not copy or compare or try to be or do what doesn’t come natural to you, what doesn’t fit. For some of us our truth might not stand out at all from the crowd, but for a lot of us it probably will, because we’re so used to fitting in.

“The opposite of belonging is fitting in.” 

– Brene Brown

I’ve lived according to the norm, I’ve followed the pack and done what I thought was expected of me, what I expected of me, and it didn’t feel good. So, I quit and created my own path. But it doesn’t mean that it’s always comfortable or that I don’t long to just be part of the norm again, where I wouldn’t stand out from the crowd. But that’s not my truth. And I do want to be more concerned about how my life feels to me than how it looks to others. So I’ll continue on my own path, allowing all the pain that surfaces along that path to be fully felt and released. Because I know, as long as I’m following my own intuition, I will always be guided to the highest best for me and everyone around me, even if I don’t see it in the moment. Trust. Let go. Allow. Receive. 

What would shift in your life if you focused on how your life feels to you rather than what it looks like? 

I hope a lot of you would say ‘not much’, but I also suspect that for some of us, it could actually be ‘quite a lot’. How do you want to feel as you wake up on Monday morning? As you walk into your home? As you meet up with your friends? Who do you want to be? Who are you feeling called to be at this time? What wants to happen next in your life?