I don’t have the time… I just have to… My family needs me… It feels too scary… I don’t know where to start… I’m not worth it… I can’t… I just have to do this first… It’s too expensive… It’s too late for me… I have to ask for permission first… It’s not the right conditions… What if I make a fool out of myself…
Excuses, excuses. We all use them, to varying degrees and with varied creativity. They are the blocks we’re creating to what we really need to do. But with the excuses, it feels like it is beyond our control, whether it gets done or not. And that feels nice nice because then I can avoid it, the excuse protects me. Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you completely skipped the excuses?
“The worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves.” – Richard Bach
An important distinction we need to make when we want to reduce excuses to living our lives fully is the difference between can’t and won’t. All too often, we use a “can’t” when we actually won’t. Can’t is being a victim of our circumstances. Won’t is to sit in the driver’s seat for our lives. And honestly, isn’t it nicer to sit in the driver’s seat and be honest, at least with ourselves?
When I create excuses for why I can’t do something, it’s usually a reluctance to take the risk, to invest the energy required or a fear of how it will go. But I can if I want to. I heard about a woman who longed to write a book but had a hard time finding the time with four toddlers at home so she got up at three every morning to have time to write before everything else she needed to do. Because she wanted to.
There are plenty of people who get themselves up mountains without working legs. People who follow their dream even though time is limited with a full family at home. People who change course completely after 65 years old. Most things you can think of as “impossible” have already been done by someone who wanted it bad enough.
This is not about maximizing our lives or splitting into a thousand pieces to follow our dreams, but rather about living true. Can’t you or won’t you? When you realize that the excuse is a cover up for what you actually don’t want to do, you take responsibility for your life and everything in it. You are free to choose.
How would your life change if you completely skipped the excuses? What if you were honest with yourself when you actually didn’t want to? If you focused all of your energy instead on what’s actually important in your life and made that a reality?
If something is really important, we create the time for it. If not, we will come up with excuses. When it’s a matter of life and death, this becomes incredibly clear. Then all of a sudden the time is there, it’s so easy to prioritize. Of course, we don’t want it to be a matter of life or death but the thought exercise usually clarifies for us what we actually think is important. Is it the binge watching of series, the scrolling and the eternal fixation with life’s infinite administration and fixing? Or is it the relationships, dreams and meaning we create when we do what we love? You constantly make choices, consciously or unconsciously.
“The bad news is time flies. The good news is you’re the pilot. ” – Michael Altshuler
If this text resonates with you, maybe it’s time, I challenge you, let’s skip the excuses and see what happens!