In many ways, the world is dark right now. In other ways, there’s so much light. Probably just as it’s always been, but right now we are paying extra attention to the suffering that is going on in our vicinity and it takes a lot of our energy. It’s easy to get caught up in anxious thoughts, pity and an almost paralyzing need to keep track of the situation and the latest developments. But none of this helps your fellow human beings who are suffering. I want to share three perspectives on why your well-being is more important now than ever.
First of all, it’s perfectly okay to feel bad about what is happening in the world right now. And very natural. But there is a difference between suffering for someone (pity) and feeling for someone (compassion), the need for control and focusing on what we can influence and on pausing one’s own life because of guilt over how well you are doing and living your best life, precisely because you can.
When you’re in an emotional storm, allow it to pass through. Cry, scream, hit on a pillow, pour your words out on paper or to a friend, meditate through the feeling or dance it out. But then, when you have given it the time it needs (usually just a few minutes) you return to your own life, focusing on your own well-being, because it’s more important than ever.
There is a big difference between suffering with someone else and feeling with someone else. Knowing that you are suffering with me does not make my suffering easier, knowing that you feel with me can help. But you getting stuck in the horror movie that is going on in your own head and constantly filling it with new stories does not help anyone, least of all yourself. Your well-being is important now.
When you feel good, you have more energy to help others
Some people perceive the focus on self-leadership, self-compassion and self-love as selfish. My experience is that it’s just the opposite. The better I lead, feel for and love myself, the more energy I have to be there for others. Our true nature is love, and when we take care of ourselves, inside and out, we automatically become an embodiment of that love. And sometimes, of course, we need to take care of ourselves only, to eventually find our way back to our energy, to be able to pour in onto others too. That’s okay, we help each other and we can take turns.
Your gratitude for what you have is a gift
The most respectful thing towards those who do not have what you have is to actually pay attention to and appreciate what you have and not take it for granted. Feeling guilty that you are doing so well and others are not, does not help those who lack what you have today. Enjoy all the abundance in your life, enjoy it every day. And share what you can, out of love for the other, not out of guilt.
Living your life authentically leads you to your role in the whole
When you are true to who you are and follow your guidance on what you are here to do, you automatically become part of the solution. I believe we all have a role to play in this life. We are all needed to create the new world we want to see. And your role is unique. You’ve come here with longings, with talents, with gifts and have unique experiences from your life that make you who you are today. The more true you can be with who you are and the truer you can live your life, the better for everyone. If we were all to find our way back to the piece of the puzzle we are in the whole, the world would look very different. Your truth is service to the world.
Some feel called to go to the border and help on the spot, some focus on donating money, receiving refugees in their homes or getting politically active. Others need to look at the other challenges that still exist in our vicinity or around the world and focus on them. Still others need to take care of themselves and their loved ones only. Someone else is working on something now that will help us all in the long run. Living a life of service is not just about the immediate crisis and panicking about it. It’s about living a true life, where service is a natural part, always. For the best cure for helplessness is to help, but not from an empty cup of guilt and shame, but from an overflowing one of love and compassion. You know what role you have in this, if you give yourself time and space to listen inwardly. Because it is always inside and out, not the other way around.
We need to remember that this is an issue that we cannot solve ourselves, so we need to limit ourselves to how much energy and time we spend on it. There is a time to feel, there is a time to help, but other times we need to live our lives and feel good. For your well-being is now more important than ever.