Wasting life, is that possible?

Sitting on the Gatwick Express going into London, an action packed week ahead of me; staying with friends, meeting Danielle Laporte, taking the train to Paris for the weekend to spend time with my nieces who live there, going back to London for some more friends and a big talk on Monday night before I fly home on Tuesday night. Some kind of calm always come over me in situations like these. Calm because I know I’m living fully.

Summer vacation is always a bit stressful before I have planned everything out; knowing who to be with when and where. It’s not that I constantly have to do, do, do, but it needs to have some kind of purpose. If the purpose is relaxation then I’m fine with that.

But no purpose, no doing, no plan, that feels like waste. Anxiety-producing. I didn’t even know that that’s what I felt about it until I articulated it to a friend. She asked me why I was constantly running, learning, exploring, adventuring, moving… and I said it: “Otherwise it feels like I’m wasting life.”

It’s been lingering, since I said that. Can you really waste life? Is a life filled to the brink a life better lived than a more quiet one? Is doing a virtue at all?

Life quality is not about doing things, it’s about how you’re feeling as you’re doing what you’re doing (Danielle taught me that!). The more you get to feel the way you want to feel the better you’ll perceive your life quality. And the trick is to learn how to produce those feelings in the small things in your everyday so that you don’t have to wait for the few and far between grandiose moments in your life (which usually are overrated anyhow).

I don’t have an answer to this yet but her question is certainly getting me thinking. And this is where I’ll be for a bit I think. Enjoying the question without having to have a clear answer. Figuring out the balance between doing and being, between thinking and consciousness. I know where my edge is, where’s yours?

With all my love,

Helena

Summer blogging

Summer’s here and it feels like a lot of people are running around in a frenzy as if the world will end right after midsummer. I know mine won’t because I just started a new big HR consultancy projects that will run into the beginning of July ;)

I love this time of year, and I also get easily overwhelmed by all of it. Fun things happening all the time, feeling some stress over how to plan a meaningful summer vacation and feeling accomplished with what I’ve done in these first six months of this year. None of which are my real metrics of success, but my mind is really active right now and that’s the KPI’s it’s working under.

Alignment before action, I know. So that’s what I’ll focus on when it comes to my blogging, newsletters and social media the next coming months. If it feels aligned I will write and share, if it don’t I won’t. Usually I produce more when allowing myself to feel into it, but if that won’t be the case that’s okay too.

You always know where to find me, I won’t be too far off the grid. But I also wish for you to get some time off your phone/ computer/ tablets or wherever most of us spend a lot of time these days. Enjoy the people around you, nature and your own company. And remember, your mind is just a tool that you can choose to detach from if you want.

With all my love,
Helena

ps. I’ll probably re-launch the online course for one more round over summer vacations, more info about that on my Instagram within shortly!

Lessons from two years as a solopreneur

This past weekend I celebrated 2 years as a mostly digital solopreneur, by hanging out in the woods with no wifi :) And I reflected a bit about what I’ve learnt on this journey. It’s been a wild ride of course, mainly emotionally, but it’s also been so rewarding, teaching me things about life more than about business. I could probably come up with many more but these are three main keys that’s worked as guideposts to my entrepreneurial journey so far.

Alignment before action

I’m a very action oriented person. Or, maybe, I used to be. The first six months of my journey was a lot about getting things done. Creating for the sake of production and getting the word out to as many people as possible. I hustled. Very little happened.

At the beginning of 2018 I took an online course, with Jess Lively, called Flow with intention. It was all about the law of attraction and talking to my intuition and I realized one main thing; alignment needs to come first. When I get into action from a space of forcing or striving or needing to be “the good girl” I attract tension, and neediness and guilt. When I first focus on my alignment; meaning feeling the way I want to feel and taking care of myself properly, I’m a vibrational match for all that I want more of.

As I started focusing the first hours of every day on alignment things really started flowing for me. Opportunities showed up from unexpected places, creativity started flowing in a new way and most importantly, I was so much happier in my life in general.

Focusing on alignment first doesn’t mean that it’s not okay to have a bad day. It’s about adjusting schedule, plans and goals when needed. We can force and strive and do as much as we like, but if we’re out of alignment doing it it’s time wasted. At the same time, one email in alignment can change the whole trajectory of your business or life.

My main commitment every week is still this: Alignment before action. And I still forget sometimes. And when I do, I’m reminded by the way I feel and by things not flowing as they normally do.

So many people say that you need to work day and night, and so hard as a solopreneur to make it, quite the opposite has been true for me.

Community is everything

Just as I was leaving the uncomfortable but safe cocoon of my corporate career two important things happened; I connected with Intenco and I walked into the castle. I was clearly lead to both places.

My “door opener”, who called me the night I knew for sure that I could no longer stay in my current job, collaborated with an HR consultancy firm called Intenco. Getting to be part of this community of senior HR professionals with so much love, confidence and experience has had a huge part in my first two years being so rewarding.

The Castle is a co-working space located opposite the royal castle in Stockholm where a new acquaitance invited me in the spring of 2017. I knew, the moment I stepped foot in the door, that this was the kind of energy I needed in my life. This is where I go to feel at home, to meet my family/colleagues/friends, and this is where I get so much inspiration for my creative work.

Following the cues when it comes to building my network as an entrepreneur has lead me to so many amazing people, experiences, lessons and adventures. I’ve grown so much from all the community I have around me everyday.

So many people say that being an entrepreneur is lonely and isolating, quite the opposite has been true for me.

Intuition leads the way, authenticity is key

I started blogging about my health journey seven years ago, in the midst of my own despair. I continued blogging because I wanted to log everything I learned and share it with others who might benefit. I’ve always written with an intention to serve, myself or others.

As the blogging grew and I grew as a teacher, student and communicator with different tools I slowly realized that I was growing a business. But as soon as I realized that I thought I needed to change. And I have, of course. But there’s a lot of do’s and don’ts out there when it comes to digital entrepreneurship and so many self-proclaimed gurus in the field.

I love to get inspiration and some advice is really great, but whenever I get too influenced I lose my footing. I wanna be real with you. And, I wanna reach the people who really need the advice/ inspiration/ knowledge/ hope that I can offer. It’s a balance I’m still trying to find, and it will probably always be a balancing act.

So many people say that there’s a proven formula for how to do this thing, quite the opposite has been true for me.

Two years has felt really long and super short (there’s that paradox again). But I’m so grateful, most days, that I get to do this, that I get to be here. And to be able to conclude that I work less, feel abundant, have more fun and feel like I’m actually making a difference in peoples lives is worth it all.

If you’re an entrepreneur - what do you think of my lessons above, have they been true for you too? If you’re not an entrepreneur - what did these lessons bring up in you? How could you translate these into your current job?

With all my love,

Helena

When the worst thing happen and it feels like relief

We generally spend a lot of time in our heads, thinking about life rather than living our life. And our minds are so creative. Whether we’re daydreaming about what vacation will feel like or we’re worrying about the future, it’s the same thing; fantasies. Not reality.

I talked to a friend the other day and she told me about this guy she’d been dating for a couple of months. At the beginning it was awesome but quite soon she felt as if he was drifting away and she started feeling a lot of fear for it to end. It was a grueling couple of months of worrying for it to end. And then it did and all she felt was relief. Because when what she feared would happen actually did it turned out to be so much easier than she had expected. Her conclusion was that the fear of them breaking up was worse than them breaking up. She felt relief because she didn’t need to be afraid anymore.

Here’s the thing: In the now we always deal. Moment by moment by moment. In especially grueling experiences we are forced to be completely present which usually is a huge relief no matter what it is, because we don’t have to deal with anything else at that moment than the present one. We can always deal one moment at a time.

When we’re living in our mind we can’t deal because it’s not in the present moment where we have the power. So, we feel powerless and full of despair, fearing a possible future moment that we would, in fact, deal with perfectly fine if that moment would come. Because, again, in the now we always deal. We’re always okay.

You’ve survived every day so far. All is well. Come back to now, where your power lives, and realize that you have nothing to worry about.

With all my love,

Helena

This too shall pass

This might be the most helpful thing to remember in times of distress. I really love this quote from James Baraz:

Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).

We’re so afraid that the good day is gonna be gone too soon and that the bad day will last forever. Nothing is gone too soon and nothing lasts forever. Everything changes. All the time. That is the only constant. We know this.

Living life with an open palm means being with what is and witnessing it come and go, without grasping on or trying to push things away. We know that most unhappiness lives in the gap between reality and our expectations of what reality should be. How can we practice being with what is instead and spare ourselves from unnecessary suffering?

I don’t have a definite answer, because I definitely do both grasp and push, on the daily. But I do notice my daily awareness practice through meditation helps. Talking about it with other woke people helps. Showing compassion with myself as I fail is instrumental.

Some say awareness is 50% of change. Well, let’s celebrate every second of awareness then, shall we?

What are your best tips for letting go and letting be as life moves through you?

With all my love,

Helena

My course is launched again (and anything is possible!)

Alright, I know, I know, this is a course in Swedish and I’m writing to you in English (when will I ever figure out this language thing?!) but I still want you to know a few things:

  1. The cart is open for my four week online course on Personal Power until May 15th. Early birds (signing up latest May 11th) get a signed book in the mail. For my lovely Swedish speaking readers, find all you need to know here: www.helenaonneby.com/kurs

  2. You can change the world. You are changing the world. You being here. Doing your thing. Your energy is affecting everyone around you, what energy do you want to send out?

  3. I was so sick I didn’t really have a future. Yet, here I am, 7 years later, creating online courses from what I learned on my journey. When I don’t really know what to do practically I google it. When I don’t really know what to do spiritually, I ask my intuition. Anything is possible.

  4. There’s so much more great stuff happening in the world than the bad stuff. Turn your head towards the light, fill yourself up, then be of service to whoever needs you. (The opposite; feeding on the negative and then being too drained to even help yourself is not how we’ll “save the world”.)

  5. There are no rights or wrongs. Only consequences. I recently finished Marie Forleos B-school. It was a great training but it also triggered my inner critic big time because I’m not writing, marketing or doing much of anything in my business the way you “should”. I figured flow is the way to go and any possible consequences of choosing flow over “businesslike” I’m more than willing to take because my alignment means everything.

If you’ve been reading my stuff lately I’d love to know: Have you noticed a difference? What do you like in my writing? What don’t you particularly like?

Thanks for reading all the way to here and most of all, thanks for being invested in being you.

With all my love,

Helena

It is okay to leave. It is okay to say no.

Stay with yourself. Say yes to you.

You don’t have to stay at your job, or in the relationship, or in your hometown or anywhere you no longer feel at home.

You don’t have to say yes to the family dinner, or the extra project, to your friends or the worlds expectations.

It is okay to leave situations that no longer serves you. It is okay to say no to things that no longer fulfills you and that makes you say no to yourself.

“Well, that’s just selfish!” some might say. But the thing is: You were given this life. You are here and you are here for a reason. The only way you can honor and live that reason is by being true to you. To your inner voice. To your calling. That’s how you serve. By being you. By taking responsibility for your needs and your desires.

You were not only given this life, you were given a life with so much privilege. You have a free will. Most of you reading this have all the opportunities in the world to live and love and create. I don’t think that’s coincidence. But with all this privilege comes responsibility.

Playing small or making excuses is not how you honor this precious gift of life at this place in this time. You honor it by being true to you first and foremost. And when you tune out the noises of the world and tune in to yourself you will be given the guidande to the next step, one step at a time.

It doesn’t have to be big or extravagant, it only needs to be true. And only you know what is true to you.

You can do this. I believe in you. Stay in yourself. Stay in your power. And trust that all that you need on your path forward will be given to you when you need it.

With all my love,

Helena

ps. if you feel you need guidance on this journey, I’m here to serve you.

Busy is a choice

Oh, I know, that’s a hard truth, and for many people, really provocative. But let’s be honest. You’re leaving early from one thing to be late to the next. Always rushing, hurrying, feeling inadequate and not enough. Why?

Most people answer: Because I have to! You don’t understand, I have so much to do!

Your life is a consequence of a lot of choices you’ve made so far. And you constantly striving for more is a choice you might still be making. A choice.

We don’t have to live in big beautiful homes. We don’t have to work full-time. We don’t have to have lots of hobbies and activities and friends that we need to fit in. All of this is a choice we make.

We choose when enough is enough. What’s enough for you? How much money, stuff, activities or medals do you really need? Really?

Honestly, guys, think about it. If you feel really busy in your life and you don’t like it, then change it. Choose again. It’s up to you. If you don’t want to make a change well, then, that’s also a choice you make. Sure, if your life is really crammed right now it might not go overnight, but if you’re committed to changing how things are you will change how things are.

Some people sell everything to travel the world. Some people choose not to have kids to be able to live more freely. Some people pay others to do what they don’t have time to do. Some people live a really minimalistic life to give room for more space and less work. Some people are really good at saying no to lots of things so that they can say yes to free time. Some people become monks, or nuns or move out into the woods.

Whatever choice you make, remember this, if you choose to be busy, it’s totally up to you.

Does this provoke or inspire you? I’d love to hear from you!

With all my love,

Helena