I don't have it all figured out

It seems as if people sometimes think that I have it all figured out or that my so called wisdom, makes my life so simple. And maybe I too expect this to be the case. But sorry to say so; I don’t have it all figured out.

Sure, I’ve written the book and I’ve done my 10 000+ hours on personal development, learning, writing, teaching, pondering and reflecting. But sometimes, I’m a hot mess. I don’t have anything figured out and end up stumbling all over my own tools.

And you know what the worst thing about it is? I blame myself. I shame myself for being human. For being messy. For not figuring it out right away.

I think I need to write this to myself as much as to anyone else. Because what I know will help in those instances, is self-compassion. You know the thing that’s so simple when life’s simple. The thing that is so super difficult (for me) to muster when I mess up.

I really recommend this beautiful epsiode on self-love on Danielle Laportes new podcast “With love, Danielle”. How can you love yourself even when you messed up? How can you love yourself when you get sick, even though you have all the tools for health? How can you love yourself when the things you believed in so deeply, seem to rip at the seems? How can you love yourself when you don’t even like yourself very much?

Those are not easy questions and I don’t have all the answers. But I’m learning. Slowly. And I’m trying my best to apply heaps of compassion to my trials.

With all my love,

Helena