resistance

Accept judgement and criticism

Most people don’t really enjoy judgement or criticism. A lot of us are people pleasers that only want others to like us. Which, we also know, is practically impossible. But still we try, to fix, to adjust, to please. All because we don’t want the judgement or criticism.

But what if we could just accept that judgement and criticism is part of life? That it will happen to us whether we fight our whole lives to avoid it or we simply live our lives regardless of what other people might think?

It’s usually the resistance to whatever scares us that ends up hurting us more. Because what we resists persists. Which means, acceptance gives us freedom. Acceptance increases the possibility of the icky feeling moving through faster, and not lingering too long. Also, if we could accept judgement and criticism as part of life endless possibilities open up, we can do whatever we want!

Also, what other people think of you is none of your business, it’s their business. And it usually tells you a lot more about them, and how they’re suffering, than it tells you anything new about you.

Don’t be afraid of people not liking you. Some people just don’t. And they won’t. That’s okay. Focus on the ones that do love you, they deserve all of your attention.

With all of my love,

Helena

The art of allowing

So often in our society today we talk about all the things we can't tolerate, behavior that we perceive as intolerable. Sometimes we need to get over it so we decide to tolerate. Tolerating a person or a behavior is a silent resistance. Intolerance is the loud resistance. 

Nothing is right or wrong but I do believe we need to practice the art of allowing also. Allowing requires letting go of resistance altogether. It's surrendering. It's about accepting fully. 

I'm practicing allowing with myself right now. With people that I think "should" live in a different way. With states of the world that I don't agree with. I practice faith, patience and trust as well. It's not always easy but I realize that when I start from that place I can easier sort through the emotions, expectations and messy thoughts and faster get to the core. To what is actually important. To the next right action. From alignment. Not resistance. 

Allow life to unfold. Allow people to be who they are. Allow the world to be as it is. And when it's time for you to get into action, you will now for sure. 

With all my love,
Helena

Let flow spill over

I think we all have our areas in life where things just flow. We also have areas where we meet resistance over and over again. This is what Jess Lively likes to call "the ego's favorite chew toy". Maybe it's always flowed in your career but you struggle in relationships. Or you've always had flow with money but you can't seem to find balance in your health. 

Don't focus so much on where it doesn't flow. Focus on where it does and try to copy that into the area of resistance. What are you doing in your flow area that you can also do where it's not? You probably don't worry or stress so much as you do where it flows, right? Maybe you feel really grateful for it and therefore creating more and more? What if you would let the flow spill over to where you need it and it would magically start flowing?

Food for thought. Let me know how it works for you! 

With all my love,
Helena 

Your intuition is always in alignment

Remember this; your inner being, or intuition, is always in alignment. The reason you're feeling so bad when you're feeling bad is because of the gap between you and your inner being. That's what hurts. 

This is good news. It means that, no matter what, a part of you is always where you want to be. Use this as comfort. 

A first step to close the gap is to let go of resistance to the fact that you feel the gap. Accept where you are. 

Ask your intuition - what do I need to do to get closer to you right now? Don't be surprised if your answers are beyond wise. Don't give up if you get nothing back. Let go of resistance to that too and believe in yourself. You know what you need to do. 

With all my love,

Helena 

Stop striving for happiness

In the pursuit of happiness. I'm all in this with you. I write about it sometimes and I talk about it often. But it's not all about happiness. It's also about living. 

What if the goal would be feeling alive rather than feeling happy? What if we're in this human experience to do just that, living, no matter what that entails. 

You know what that they say; people rather be hated than ignored because that means someone actually care enough to have an opinion at all. The same way we might rather feel really tough feelings than feeling nothing at all. 

We're here to live and to experience and that sometimes means rough patches, that's alright, we're still living through them. There's no failure in being unhappy, it's part of the human condition to sometimes feel this way. What's closer to a failure is not living at all, because then we missed the purpose of the whole thing. 

So, embrace life, feel whatever you need to feel. And maybe you'll notice, that happiness comes to visit a little more often, when you stop resisting what's far from it.

With all my love,

Helena 

Progress on boundaries

As you know by now, this is a big subject in my life right now. I haven't practiced that much before, so I'm learning now. One big aha that a friend said the other day helped lay another piece of the puzzle for me: You don't set boundaries against others, you set boundaries for yourself. 

That was big for me. I'm not showing resistance, I'm not working against anything or trying to push away. I'm simply doing something for myself when I set boundaries. I do it because it's important to me. Because I am important to me. It has nothing to do with the other person.

When I violate my own boundaries I'm sending signals that something else is more important to me. With consistency people also learn that it's okay to overstep my boundaries, and eventually, all over me. I've said it before and I say it again. Boundaries can be loving. Boundaries are an expression of love. 

With all my love,

Helena