hurt people hurt people

It's much easier to cause pain than to feel pain

I do believe in the good of every human. When we hurt others it’s either because we’re misinformed (e.g. actually believing that what you’re doing is “good”) or because we’re in pain ourselves. Because it’s easier to toss the pain over to the next person, projecting it, than to actually feel it and transform it ourselves.

Other people treating you poorly has much more to do with them than it has to do with you. As the popular quote says: “Everyone is fighting their own battle. Be kind, always.”

No one in their right mind who are content in their own lives; feeling seen, heard and valued, wakes up in the morning and goes out into the world with the intention: Today I’m gonna make everyone around me miserable.

Knowing this does not excuse other peoples way of behaving in the world. But it might help you reach for a little more compassion for the humans around you. Because only hurt people hurt people.

It’s still okay for you to walk away, to say no, to set clear boundaries. And have compassion. This is another of those beautiful paradoxes in life, that I know we are wise enough to hold.

And as for yourself; work on your awareness and feel the pain that needs to be felt, transform it if you can, so that you can be the one closing the pain spiral down. No emotion can kill you. And as an adult, you can take care of the little child inside who’s hurting. You can comfort yourself, and ask for what you need from others.

What do you say? Are you ready to show compassion to those hurting even when they try to pass it onto you? Are you ready to deal with the pain you’re experiencing yourself without projecting it onto others?

With all my love,
Helena