expectation

Keep your expectations general

I notice that I have a natural attitude of having a positive perspective on the future. I always expect the best. Sure, I might worry about something coming up next week or be nervous about something but in general, I expect all my dreams to come true. I know that's not reality for everyone and I'm so grateful for this attitude. 

However, it creates really high expectations. Sometimes they're not fulfilled. It hurts. Yet, I don't want to lower my expectations because they're so sweet in the meantime. At the same time, it's the gap between expectations and reality that creates unhappiness. These are two of the solutions I've found to this paradox, so far:

  • Be general and more emotional based in your expectations. Don't latch onto details or to what other people should or shouldn't do. Keep it to a feeling and to the things that you yourself can actually do something about. 
  • When the expectations are no longer in the future, but in your present moment, let them go and be with what is, no matter what that might be. 

Do you agree? How do handle expectations that make you trip in the present? 

With all my love,
Helena

When hope hurts

I've written about this so many times, because it used to be a big theme in my life.

I was trying so hard not to hope or wish for the best because I thought the hurt of the disappointment was too hard to bear. I would start expecting the worst, to not get hurt. I would withhold on joy out of fear of vulnerability. Not realizing I was withholding life by doing this. And without understanding that, no matter my precautions, sometimes life hurts. We can't vaccinate against it. 

In the contract of life, pain is part. Our best defense is living our life where it is right now, being optimistic about the future. The worst thing that can happen is that we have been happy for no real reason. But in doing this, we prepare ourselves for pain. We don't prepare by expecting the worst or by being pessimistic about the future. That's just a recipe for draining ourselves. 

Don't let hope hurt you. It's not hope that does that. It's expectations shattered. We need to expect the best. And if it doesn't happen, we need to accept what is. So do hope, do joy, do optimism. You can deal with anything and heal from whatever. 

With all my love,
Helena