boundaries

Progress on boundaries

As you know by now, this is a big subject in my life right now. I haven't practiced that much before, so I'm learning now. One big aha that a friend said the other day helped lay another piece of the puzzle for me: You don't set boundaries against others, you set boundaries for yourself. 

That was big for me. I'm not showing resistance, I'm not working against anything or trying to push away. I'm simply doing something for myself when I set boundaries. I do it because it's important to me. Because I am important to me. It has nothing to do with the other person.

When I violate my own boundaries I'm sending signals that something else is more important to me. With consistency people also learn that it's okay to overstep my boundaries, and eventually, all over me. I've said it before and I say it again. Boundaries can be loving. Boundaries are an expression of love. 

With all my love,

Helena  

Be alone as if with others. Be with others as if alone.

I don't remember where I heard this expression first, but I really love the idea.

Be alone as if with others. For me it means having integrity also when I'm alone. Being impeccable with my words, also towards myself. Act in ways that I'm proud of. Take care of myself, others and the planet, also when no one is watching. 

Be with others as if alone. This means being truly, fully me, in all circumstances. Sure, I will choose to show different parts of me in different contexts, but always, be me. Share vulnerably. Set boundaries.

What does this idea mean to you? Are you? As if with others when you're alone? As if alone when with others? What does that concept practically mean in your life? 

With all my love,

Helena 

 

The relief of the paradox

I've always been intrigued and frustrated about the both and more. My rational mind has always tried to figure out which one it is and find a way to stay with that. But in recent years I'm feeling more and more intrigued, and less frustrated. This is short excerpt from my book Pure Personal Power - tools to collect on a healing journey. 

Life is hard and beautiful. Pain is inevitable but you don’t have to suffer. What is difficult when life’s difficult is easy when life’s easy. Strive to always feel better and let go. Always focus on understanding others and set very clear boundaries. Have a clear vision of where you want to go and be where you are. We need other people and we need to be able to be alone.  Have faith that you are taken care of and do the work. Put yourself first and focus on service to others. Know your truth and be open to changing your mind. Set high standards and enjoy the simple things. Follow your heart and use your head.  Be fully in this world and know this is not all there is.

With all my love,

Helena