It's much easier to cause pain than to feel pain

I do believe in the good of every human. When we hurt others it’s either because we’re misinformed (e.g. actually believing that what you’re doing is “good”) or because we’re in pain ourselves. Because it’s easier to toss the pain over to the next person, projecting it, than to actually feel it and transform it ourselves.

Other people treating you poorly has much more to do with them than it has to do with you. As the popular quote says: “Everyone is fighting their own battle. Be kind, always.”

No one in their right mind who are content in their own lives; feeling seen, heard and valued, wakes up in the morning and goes out into the world with the intention: Today I’m gonna make everyone around me miserable.

Knowing this does not excuse other peoples way of behaving in the world. But it might help you reach for a little more compassion for the humans around you. Because only hurt people hurt people.

It’s still okay for you to walk away, to say no, to set clear boundaries. And have compassion. This is another of those beautiful paradoxes in life, that I know we are wise enough to hold.

And as for yourself; work on your awareness and feel the pain that needs to be felt, transform it if you can, so that you can be the one closing the pain spiral down. No emotion can kill you. And as an adult, you can take care of the little child inside who’s hurting. You can comfort yourself, and ask for what you need from others.

What do you say? Are you ready to show compassion to those hurting even when they try to pass it onto you? Are you ready to deal with the pain you’re experiencing yourself without projecting it onto others?

With all my love,

Awareness is the key

I was exploring this with one of my coaching clients recently and just got it affirmed yet again. Awareness is everything. When we are aware we can choose our response. When we're aware we have the foundation for change. When we are aware we we expand our freedom.

What is hidden from us is difficult to change. What we can't see we cannot remove. When we don't see our patterns we can't draw new ones. 

Many people feel that growing awareness is uncomfortable, because what used to be in the shadow is brought to the light. But we need to give credit where credits do. Awareness is the first and very large step in the right direction. 

So celebrate your growing awareness. Celebrate your courage to bring the uncomfortable to the light. Because this is where the fun starts - you can make deliberate choices as to where to go from here. Congratulations! 

With all my love,

Use all of your potential

Only 5% of our awareness is conscious, working in the logic and rational left brain. 95% is unconscious - 95%! Logic thinking, rationalizing and analyzing are not always the smartest thing to do, honestly it's rarely the smartest thing to do. When we unleash our full potential, our intuition, our emotional intelligence, our silent experience and knowledge - that's where the magic happens. 

This is something I need to remind myself of often. I'm so caught up in my left brain all the time. Sure, I meditate and do yoga daily, and in those instances I leave the left brain out. I spend time in nature and I go on silent retreats where I dwell in the unspoken wisdom of my soul. But still, in my daily life, when going about my day, I'm so entangled. 

I practice letting go. I practice surrendering. I practice being more than doing. Feeling more than thinking. I practice. I'm far from there. But practice makes perfect, right?

How much time are you spending in your limited 5%? 

With all my love,