Your experience is not objective

Whatever we experience through life is so much less about what we’re experiencing and so much more about what we make of that which we experience. There is no objective reality. I think sometimes we forget.

Let me give you some examples: You come home from work and your apartment is a mess. Does this mean you get to put on some good music, move your body and get your mind off work while you make your living space beautiful? Or does it mean that you have a negligent partner that doesn’t care about you and that you are not going to sit down in the sofa and relax for another 30 minutes?

Your flight is cancelled and you need to wait for an undefined number of hours for the next flight to vacation. Do you feel like all the shit always happens to you, that your vacation time is wasted and that you’re stupid for picking the cheap flight? Or maybe you get to take this time to unwind and start adjusting for another tempo, sit down somewhere quiet, order something hot to drink and sit down to read that book you’ve been longing to read?

Your boss gives you some harsh feedback about that last client meeting. Does this mean that you are miserable at your job, that you don’t deserve to be there or that your boss is a jackass that should never be trusted? Or maybe you just where gifted something, that, if you focus on understanding the feedback, it will really help you get better at your work, and that, no matter what, this has nothing to do with your worth as a human being?

Same events, very different experiences. Start noticing where you normally go when something “bad” happens. This is not a game of perfection, it’s an opportunity for reflection. There is no object reality. We create the life we live through the experiences we shape.

With all my love,