Do you want me to listen or do you want my advice?

Fixing other people's problems isn't something we can take on lightly. It's not our job in the first place so why do we so often take on the role as problem solver in other people's life? We need each other. We mirror ourselves in others and we need the perspective to make sense of our own shit. But most of the time, we need to be heard, rather than being fixed.

I find myself doing this all the time. Someone tells me a current story from their life and I step right in as therapist, problem solver or general fixer. Instead of just asking; do you want me to listen or do you want advice? If people want specific advice they usually ask for it.

Sometimes the most empowering thing to do is to just listen. Confirm what you're hearing. Then listen some more.

With all my love,