It's the small things we do often that will have the greatest effect

It’s so easy to make a big deal out of lifestyle changes, to think that everything must happen at the same time and so it doesn’t really work now. Maybe after New Year’s. But it’s the small things we do often that make the biggest difference in our lives, to our health, our well-being and for the people around us. And we can make small shifts all the time. Through conscious choices we shape our lives every day.

Taking the stairs instead of the elevator every day will affect you more than running once a week. Drinking an extra glass of water per day will support the body more positively than gulping down four liters once in a while. Adding one extra vegetable per day is better than eating seven different vegetables in one sitting once a week.

Most of us probably know all that, it’s a recurring theme here at Food Pharmacy. But I also want to focus on what we do for our mental and emotional health. Thinking about a few things you are grateful for every day instead of making a long gratitude list once a month will support the reprogramming of the brain more. To do a body scan every evening and note if there are any emotional knots stuck during the day that need to be felt. Stopping and deepening your breath a few times a day is better than doing breathing exercises only on retreats. Choosing to forgive the small mistakes the people around us make will prepare you for when you really need to find understanding for someone else’s behavior.

And at the same time, when we break down the big, abstract “life”, into the here and now, one moment at a time, we also create the conditions for more enjoyment of life. Because it’s nice to feel the pulse in the stairs, to drink a glass of water, eat yummie vegetables, feel gratitude, release trapped emotions, breathe consciously, and choose to understand and forgive the people around you.

This is it. This moment is your life. Right now. Right here. Whatever you’re doing as you read this, this is your life. What’s real, right now. So, start here. What small step can you take here and now, or at least today, to create the conditions for more well-being, even in the long term?

Sure, sometimes we need to do things today that aren’t so nice today to create an even better tomorrow. But I think we have a lot to gain from shifting perspectives. Implement small and wonderful micro-habits today, be present for them now, and know that over time they will shift your entire life for the better.

Sometimes I use the acronym BEAT to realize which choice I need to make today, to also support the future me and others. BEAT stands for Body, Effect, Alignment and Thank.

Body – what is my body telling me I need to do right now? What intuitively feels like the right choice in this situation?

Effect – how does this choice affect myself and the people around me?

Alignment – ​​which choice is in accordance with the highest version of me? Which choice is in line with my values? And what is an automatic response to old patterns?

Thank – what choice would future me thank for in this situation?

As usual, there is a paradox here; live and be here now AND make choices that also serve your future self.

What is one small thing you can do today that you know you need?

What is the most loving choice in this situation?

Who do I want to be and how do I act when I am the person I choose to be?

What would future me thank myself for if I did now?

You create your life all the time through the choices you make in the present. What small choices are you choosing to make today?

Beyond the mind is a freer life

Many of us live very mind-focused lives and in a society that has great faith in, and dependence on, our thoughts. But we are so much more than just our minds. We are sentient beings, inhabiting animal bodies, who have intuition and wisdom beyond thought. Our heart sends more signals to the brain than vice versa. The more I choose to live my life beyond my mind, the freer my life feels. It’s not about finding an ‘off-button’ on our thoughts and going about without them completely, at least not for me, it’s about finding approaches to our thoughts so that we can live beyond them.

I actually have a friend who seems to have that ability though, to shut down his thoughts. When he sits down to meditate, he describes it as if he presses the ‘off-button’, and then it’s quiet up there for as long as he has chosen to meditate. Is that even possible? Maybe for some, but most people I talk to have a different kind of thought activity, one that is always in service.

When I stopped waiting for it to be quiet up there, I became so much freer to live beyond my mind, regardless of what its are doing. I have a constant commentator in there, critiquing and reviewing and planning and, well, thinking a lot of things all the time. It’s perfectly ok, it can be allowed to continue. I am not my thoughts, I have them, so I can choose to put my focus on something else and let the commentator do its thing.

“Your mind is a terrible master but an excellent servant.”

Robin Sharma

Our brain is a tool to experience this life, just like our body is. But we are the one who observes both mind and body, the one who is aware of all that without having to identify with it. Today, I choose to live my life guided by my intuition, instead of my fearful mind, and these are some of the tools I use to be able to do that.

Observing

This is often what we practice in meditation. Choosing to enter the role of observer and look at the thoughts with a little distance. Like the clouds moving in the sky, like the cars passing on the road. Sometimes I entertain myself by seeing my mind activity as a little old man walking around in there sweeping, carrying, moving and organizing my thoughts. He works hard and he does a good job but I’m not him, I’m the one watching.

Emptying

If the thinking activity is extra busy one day, I sit down and empty. I just turn on the faucet and simply write down everything that comes. Some things are nonsense, some I actually need to act on, some trigger emotions that I need to feel. But when I empty for a few minutes, it usually gets a little quieter in there.

Embodying

My body is my best “now tool”. Through the breath, through dance, contact with nature, movement or full attention on my senses, I get out of my brain and into the present. The only thing that is truly real.

Separating

Remembering that I’m not my thoughts or my mind has helped me a lot. I often say something like: “My brain is now saying this…” or “I have a thought that says…” By separating myself from the voice that is speaking, I am reminded that it is only one of many things that happening inside me all the time, it’s not the only reality.

The Work

Maybe you’ve heard of Byron Katie’s ‘The Work’? It is an amazing and simple tool to question the thoughts. With just four questions, so much can change:

Is it true?

Can I really know it’s true?

Who do I become when I believe this thought?

What would be possible for me without this thought?

I would highly recommend you to read more and try it out at www.thework.com 

Reason and negotiate

My mind wants me well. It tries to protect me from danger. The only problem is that it’s a little overly anxious and thinks I’m going to die from most things. If I’m going to try something new, do something brave or go outside my comfort zone, I usually need to negotiate a bit with my mind, it can sound something like this:

“Okay, dear brain, I understand you’re panicking and thinking I’m going to get hurt now, but I’m actually just going to write a text/make a call/listen to my intuition/ask for what I need. Can we agree that I’ll test it out? Once or during a week or month? If it goes bad, we can always go back to your control, I promise. But if it goes well, maybe you’ll like it too. Do we have a deal?”

Love and compassion

It’s important to remember that the mind doesn’t wish us harm. It only seeks security and love and believes it will get there through intimidation and control. But when we can give it what it really needs, it has a tendency to calm down. “Beloved brain, I see how you struggle, and I am so grateful for you. I’m safe here, and I can hold you. Thank you for your work but you can rest now.”

Physical support

After all, the brain is a body part that needs nourishment, rest and stimulation, just like the rest of the body. If I’ve eaten poorly, slept bad or haven’t activated it correctly for a while, I can count on it to be a little extra agitated. It’s okay, then I can be aware of it and give it what it needs to feel better again.

There are many more tools to relate to that amazing servant we often call the mind or thought activity. But what lies beyond? For me, it’s intuition, presence, experiences of life that I’m actually here for, with my whole self. The mind actually has a hard time understanding and taking in the most amazing things in life, but you know. You’re not your mind, you’re not your thoughts. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mind, it’s absolutely amazing. It helps me in so many ways every day and I wouldn’t want to experience life without it. But when it gets its proper role in my life, my life becomes so much bigger, freer and richer. Maybe it’s the same for you?

A more gentle approach to a hard life

I used to think that too much self-love would make me weak. That more self-compassion would make me selfish. That prioritizing my own mental health would make me self-centered. That I would no longer get anything done, that I would become less generous or isolated if I losened a little, from that constant pushing. But the more I soften towards myself, the more I have to give, that realization lands deeper and deeper in me.

When I needed to find my own way on my own healing journey, I soon discovered that all those external changes didn’t really have the desired effect if I just focused there. Because the more aware I became, the clearer it became that I had a rather harsh inner climate. The inner dialogue was judgmental and controlling. I could feel self-compassion as long as I was performing and doing well, but when I did something “wrong” or failed, it got worse.

I used to think self-love was about pampering myself. That extra half hour in the bathroom with a bubble bath and nice body oils. Or a massage in the middle of the week. Or a fun dinner with friends. And all that is of course lovely but can also be quite uncomfortable if we have a harsh inner voice that judges what we are doing as unproductive or spoiled or a waste of time.

For me, self-love today is mainly about a continuously softening inner dialogue. To always remind myself that I am love, just like everyone else, and that I deserve unconditional love. And the more I give myself what I need most, gentleness, the more it spills over to others. Because my true self, without walls and self-defense, is generous and full of love.

Nowadays I often sit on the subway and notice how the love bubbles over, I feel so much love for the people around me. People I don’t know at all and probably won’t meet again. Quietly to myself, I say to my fellow passengers: I love you, I love you, I love you. It doesn’t mean that I necessarily like what I see or appreciate a particular behavior around me. It’s because I see who they really are, love, just like me, no matter what exterior is presented at that moment. I’m filled up from within me and so it naturally spills over to those around me.

And at the same time, the mean voice in me is always close. It suddenly wakes up sometimes and vividly starts waving around with harsh words, as if to make up for lost time. Then I need to soften towards that too, and realize that I can.

“I see you love, well, you’re afraid I’m going to lose something now so you harden your tone, that’s okay. You can be here. You can shout all you like. It is okay. I got you.”

I’m not the voice in my head, I’m the one witnessing that voice. I’m the one who can hold everything in my heart. And the more I soften, the stronger I become. Not because I’m invincible, but because my roots run deep. Like a tree I stand firm, even when the wind blows around me. Because the roots are in loving soil, in soft holding of everything that needs to be present in the human experience.

It’s so easy to harden when the world seems scary. But I want us to remember softness. Because when you can soften against all that, the harsh reality and the stiff walls, as well as the vulnerable and smooth, then you realize that you don’t need to defend yourself. The love you thirst for is already within you, and when you turn on that faucet, it flows freely to everything and everyone around you.

It's urgent, we need to slow down

I often hear expressions like “the world spins faster and faster” or “there is not enough time” or “the situation is urgent, we need to act now!”. How do you relate to those words? Does that ring true to you? If we all choose that narrative, it’s no wonder we’re stressed.

I listened to the Nigerian writer and philosopher Bayo Akomolafe at a lecture a few years ago when he said: “The times are urgent. We must slow down!” The words have stayed with me and I spend time with them sometimes. What does that actually mean?

Time has slowed down significantly in my own life experience this year. I also used to be one of those people who thought time flew by, that I couldn’t keep up with the weeks and months flowing into each other. But not anymore. Why is that?

I can’t really see any external factors influencing this. There is no big difference when I have a lot to do or a little, when the minutes are filled with many different types of activities or when I do similar things for a longer time. The only answer I find when I search is presence. It’s the quality of my presence that has changed. Because when I’m present with what is happening, when it’s happening, then the concept of time disappears while it also expands. Because a minute, consisting of 60 unique seconds, is a long time. And think how many minutes we have in an hour, a day, a week.

My intention is not to create more stress in anyone who feels the opposite, that life is running away from them. My intention is to point out the possibility. Imagine if the slowness is already here. It’s not about doing something in slow motion or necessarily doing fewer things, it’s about allowing your whole self to be there when it happens. And thus fully perceiving what is actually happening.

The solution to our common challenges is not a faster pace, more inventions, new technologies or bigger contexts. I believe that this is precisely one of the root causes of the problems we see around us. The problem is separation. From ourselves, from each other, from the present, from the earth. We need to slow down and come home. To ourselves, to each other, to the present, to the earth.

For me, presence is very much about permission. I need to allow myself to be where I am, completely. Letting go of everything else and trusting that I will know what I need to know when I need to know it. I will do what I need to do when I need to do it. But for now, I sit here and write. In a moment I will meet another person in full presence and eye contact. When I move in nature, I am there with her.

It goes without saying that there is no quick fix when it comes to presence. But there’s a slow fix and it’s already here. Breathe. Notice. Lower your shoulders. Admit to yourself that you can never, ever be anywhere else but here, so stop trying. Stop running away from yourself. You are only here, even if your thoughts drift off into stories about now and then.

It’s urgent, we need to slow down. What awakens in you when you hear the words? How could you slow down without necessarily turning your life upside down (unless you want to, of course)? Being where you are expands time, and life, and the opportunity to see what is really needed. Sometimes it’s doing, sometimes it’s being. But we need to be here to notice it, to hear our own intuition and inner guidance. To really hear each other. To learn from nature that always knows.

It’s urgent, we need to slow down. Allow yourself to be here and note what is needed.

5 steps to worrying less

There’s a lot to worry about in our world. What will happen to the climate? What do those symptoms really mean? Will there be more war? How will the children do in their life? What about the economy? What does my boss really think of me? How are the elections going? Well, I probably don’t need to remind you what to worry about, I’d just want to normalize that it’s a natural part of being human. But it doesn’t have to take over your life or affect your well-being every day. I want to share the tools I use to let worry take a less prominent place in my life so I can devote my energy to nicer things.

First of all, worry is a natural feeling and worrying thoughts are a part of most people’s lives. It has a function. It warns and draws our attention to where we may need to adjust or pay extra attention. But it can sometimes get out of hand and is often focused on things that are far beyond our own control. These tools have helped me and many of my clients to a life with less worry, and more joy.

Sort through your thoughts

A prerequisite for being able to work with the worrisome thoughts is to realize that just because the thoughts are in your head, it does not necessarily mean that they are true. Or relevant. Or important to you right now. Allow yourself to really listen to the thoughts from start to finish and get them out on paper. Once you’ve written down everything you’re worried about, sort through them. What is true? What can you actually know about the future? What’s within your control? What can’t you influence? What do you need to act on now? What do you possibly need to act on later and how can you plan it today (so that you don’t have to think about it again until it’s time)?

Feel the feeling

There’s a difference between worrying thoughts and feeling of worry. When you have sorted your thoughts, feel the feeling. An important reminder here: You can’t think a feeling, so for this practice you need your body, you don’t need the help of your mind at all. How do you know you are worried? How does it feel in your body when you are worried? Maybe it’s a pressure on the chest, a lump in the stomach or a tingling in the arm? No matter what, feel the feeling of worry when you need to. Without adding new worrying thoughts. When we feel a feeling through the body sensation that it is, it rarely takes more than 60-90 seconds for the feeling to be felt and be released. Breathe and hold yourself in the feeling from time to time, and you will notice it eases.

“The hour of worry” 

I was given this tool by a hospital counselor many years ago when I was living with a lot of worry about my health. For me, it’s a combination of the two practices above. If the concern is still there, invite it in, but only when it’s convenient. In fact, I used to not need more than a quarter of an hour a day when I set aside the time to actively invite the worries, sort through them, and then feel the feeling that was awakened in the body. What happens when you allow your worry some space every now and then is that over time it becomes less intrusive in the rest of your life. It is like a small child that just wants your attention; “mom, mom, mom, MOOOM!!!!” When you regularly turn to the worry and say: “Hey Worry, I understand you have something important to say, tell me, I’m here and listen” it calms down and no longer needs to be so alarming.

Cultivate trust

As I write in my latest book “Det inre skiftet”, I believe that there’s a scale on which we constantly move from Worry and the need for Control to Trust. Trust to me is about letting go and choosing to trust that even if we don’t know what the future will be, we will be able to handle it once it’s here. But the reason why it’s so hard to try to manage the future in our heads is because it doesn’t exist yet. So, what would happen if you actively chose to lower your shoulders, deepen your breath, and choose to trust that love will always carry you and that you can handle much more than you think?

Live in the moment

What is then left when we have sorted through the worries and felt the emotions during the time, we actively choose to set aside for it and let go of the rest? Well, life, here and now. When we stop giving so much attention to what is not yet here, we get a lot of energy left over to live here and now. To be present in the conversation, to taste the food, to give our full attention to what we have in front of us. To enjoy how comfortable the bed and the breath is when we go to sleep instead of listening to scary thoughts. To feel what we feel like doing right now instead of rushing around and doing just for the sake of doing. To receive and enjoy all the beauty around us right now instead of being afraid that it will all one day be gone. 

If you’re now sitting with a thought that sounds like: “But, it’s important that we worry, it’s part of being a citizen of society and responsible for our common future!” I want to challenge that idea. Worrying is not the same as being responsible and contributing to society. We take responsibility by first and foremost taking care of ourselves and our own well-being and then contributing in the way that feels right and important to us, from a place of energy and love, not panic and fear. None of us know what the future will be, but I’m fully convinced that we will solve it together, by living with what is, feeling our feelings along the way and following our own inner guidance to the right next step for us.

What your life looks like versus how it feels

As a lot of us are getting back to our routines after a summer break this is a time for life reflection. To me, this feels like a more energizing new start than the new year as I have more energy and the break from everyday life has been longer than the one I usually have over Christmas and New Years. As my intuition gave me a question a few weeks back I wanted to share it with you too in hopes that it might spark some inspiration if you’re also in some kind of “life review state”:

Are you more concerned about what your life looks like rather than how it feels to you? 

It’s so easy to get into comparison mode and life our lives according to our own/ societies’/ our families’ expectations. We design our lives according to what we think it should look like, not how we actually would prefer it ourselves. Many of us have this clear view of what a “picture perfect” life should look like and we suffer more the longer from reality that we currently perceive ourselves to be. But what does it feel like when you actually feel into your life? What do you feel about it then?

The question is not; why isn’t my life panning out the way I expected it to or how my mind wanted it to be? The question is; what life am I being called to live now? What am I being guided to next? And most of all; how does it feel to be me? If I’m not satisfied with what is; how can I tweak it according to my intuition’s guidance? (not the norm or societal or mind expectations) I’m here to live my life. You’re here to live your life. 

We’re not all meant to copy each other. I believe that’s the behavior that is causing a lot of the challenges in the world today. We’re meant to be aware of the awareness that we are and play with the play dough that is our human experience. Sometimes that fits in to the current cultural norm, sometimes not. If we all would do that we would see a lot more variety in how we choose to co-create our lives with life/ the Universe/ Love/ god, whatever you want to call it. It’s not that the norm is wrong, just that the norm is too narrow for all of us to fit in there. 

It’s been coming up for me in so many ways this year; making the puzzle pieces fit together. You are your own puzzle piece and I am mine. When I fully embody mine, by being true to my essence and who I came here to be, I fulfill my life purpose by just being me. I believe it’s the same for all of us. But you can’t be my puzzle piece and I can’t be yours and we can’t all hold the same puzzle piece because that will never make a beautiful puzzle. The pieces are all perfectly different and so are we. 

So, what would happen if we focused more on how we feel about our lives rather than how it looks or what everyone else is doing? Do you feel true? Do you feel like you? Are you following your own inner guidance and the natural flow of your own life? That’s what you’re here to do. Be true. Be you. Not copy or compare or try to be or do what doesn’t come natural to you, what doesn’t fit. For some of us our truth might not stand out at all from the crowd, but for a lot of us it probably will, because we’re so used to fitting in.

“The opposite of belonging is fitting in.” 

– Brene Brown

I’ve lived according to the norm, I’ve followed the pack and done what I thought was expected of me, what I expected of me, and it didn’t feel good. So, I quit and created my own path. But it doesn’t mean that it’s always comfortable or that I don’t long to just be part of the norm again, where I wouldn’t stand out from the crowd. But that’s not my truth. And I do want to be more concerned about how my life feels to me than how it looks to others. So I’ll continue on my own path, allowing all the pain that surfaces along that path to be fully felt and released. Because I know, as long as I’m following my own intuition, I will always be guided to the highest best for me and everyone around me, even if I don’t see it in the moment. Trust. Let go. Allow. Receive. 

What would shift in your life if you focused on how your life feels to you rather than what it looks like? 

I hope a lot of you would say ‘not much’, but I also suspect that for some of us, it could actually be ‘quite a lot’. How do you want to feel as you wake up on Monday morning? As you walk into your home? As you meet up with your friends? Who do you want to be? Who are you feeling called to be at this time? What wants to happen next in your life?

Nature as a partner in life

Summer is here and with it nature is in full bloom and lush. Everything is so beautiful, and the wildlife is busier than ever. As are many of us. Everything needs to be ready by midsummer, as if there is no after. And if you’re in the middle of the pre-holiday heat right now, this might feel a little provocative, but I still want to urge you to pause and get some support from nature.

“Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.”

Lao Tzu

We long for this time all winter, but it’s still easy to run past it. Now, here it is, are you? I don’t call for deleting everything on the agenda and lying on the grass for days on end, rather to include nature in our lives and take help from her to balance.

Here are some prescriptions for you who want to try:

Stop and smell a flower. Empty the lungs of air, then inhale through the nose, through the flower and fill your whole being with floral scent. Close your eyes and be curious about how it feels. Repeat 3-5 breaths. Time required: 30 seconds.

Put your feet in the ground. Take off your shoes and socks, let your feet land on the ground. Feel the contact with the surface. Take a few slow steps and let the whole foot “roll” on the ground, starting with the heel, then the hollow foot, the whole sole of the foot and the toes, one by one. Note temperature, humidity, soft / hard, still or moving. Breathe. Time required 60-90 seconds.

Get in touch with a tree. Walk to a nearby tree that “calls” on you. Put one hand on the trunk. Follow the trunk with your eyes up to the treetop and the sky. Move closer if you want. You can either choose to embrace the tree or turn around and lean your spine against it. Feel how stable and grounded the tree stands, at the same time as it sways up in the treetop. Close your eyes and “feel” the tree. Is there something it wants to tell you? Time required: 2 minutes.

Hang out with the wind. Whether it’s stormy or completely calm, note the air around you. Maybe the wind against the skin or just the temperature. Note how it moves and changes and how it affects you and your body. Look up at the sky and see if the clouds are moving or if it is still. Note what is moving in and around you. You do not have to change anything, just be with what is. Time required: 1 minute.

Balance is not something we achieve and “are in”. To me, it’s a verb, it’s something we do, as in balancing. Nothing is perfect but we can make small choices every day and every hour, to remind ourselves of where life is, here, and to help ourselves get back here. To the moment. To the presence. To what is true right now. And in that, nature is a fantastic reminder, because she is only ever here. Always present, always changing. Just as we can be if we choose.

So, no matter what your life situation looks like right now, nature is always here for you, as a health partner if you want. It may sound strange, but really, it’s the most natural thing in the world, because we are also animals, a part of nature. It’s just something that many of us have forgotten, lost, in the modern lifestyle we have created. But still she stays there, always. Note, feel, let her hold you when it storms in your head and note what’s true, here, and now.

If nature could be your partner in everyday life, what would be different then?

What I learned through my most recent dark night

Have you heard of the mythology of The heroes journey, often subscribed to Joseph Campbell because he wrote a book about it? I actually haven't read the book but I've heard the myth used in many people's stories of their life's challenges and great victories. It's about this adventurer who is called to move from the known into the unknown, being both challenged and helped on their journey. Eventually there's the abyss, or dark night of the soul, where both death and rebirth happens which transforms the adventurer in their core and in Campbells words: "the hero comes back from this mysterious adventure with the power to bestow boons on his fellow man."

I don't mean to be all dramatic about my own life but it feels like I've just been through a hero's journey myself (and I think we all do in different times of our lives). I've been through these journey's before but this one was on a much deeper level, more spiritual to me than previous ones. And I think as with many of the most profound experiences of our lives, it's difficult to put it into words. I probably will try, in greater detail, in the future, but for now, I just want to share with you a brief summary from my mind's understanding of it and what helped me through (bestowing boons and all that 😉).

This whole winter and spring has been a time of transformation for me. Lots of change and triggers and challenges and blessings. I've felt off. Out of alignment a lot of the time. Searching. Doubting. Looking for answers outside of myself. Feeling a lack of meaning. It's had me trying lots of new things but also hiding away and distracting in more ways than one. A few weeks back it started escalating after having had a really deep consciousness experience with non-duality. It was like my ego started panicking and fighting for it's life. The Eckhart Tolle quote came to mind:

"Every ego wants to be special. If it can't be special by being superior to others, it's also quite happy with being especially miserable."

It felt as though my ego was so defeated by all the efforting it had done for so long, trying to figure things out, that it just retreated to being miserable. In me it manifested as suffering, which in my definition is just resisting pain. For years I've been able to access pain much more easily because I've learnt to not resist it but let it move through me. I've also been more identified with my intuition than my mind and so I've been able to observe my thoughts a lot of the time. All of this disappeared in this state. I was just in a really dark place. Not being able to distance myself from my mind at all and not being able to transform the pain because there was so much resistance. It was awful. My body of course reacted too with a really bad cold and a lot of back pain. And I couldn't sleep.

Fortunately I had support around me and I got to talk a lot, not sure it helped but it soothed my mind somewhat. In the next few days I had a lot of triggers coming my way, meaning situations that triggered old deep wounds. As I went away to an island with other loving people, in different stages of their consciousness development journey, I finally found myself in the perfect storm of circumstances to no longer being able to resist, to effort, to hold on. So, I let go. It wasn't a deliberate action, I had wanted to let go for so long, but I was helped in letting go this time.

It felt like a purge, an energy cleanse, that went on for a couple of days. No particular thoughts. No drama. No story. Just pure energy moving through me. Sometimes painful, but never suffering. I was held by nature and by community and by my own intuition. In between the purges or waves I rested. Until a new wave came and washed over me.

Realizing now, as I try to describe it, that it all probably sounds very weird, but it felt like the most natural thing in the world. And after the storm had subsided, I felt different. Lighter. Stronger. More guided than ever before. I had so many questions that I thought needed answers, but I don't need the answers anymore. I quite enjoy the questions. My mind has calmed down and this deep knowing, my own intuition, is just present here. I'm not done, there's no there there. And I don't know what comes next. But sharing this story now helps me integrate it and for some reason my intuition asked me to so hopefully it will inspire you too in some way.

And to get back to my intention of "bestowing boons" (sharing blessings) I think there will be many coming out of this most recent dark night of mine. But for now I want to share with you this: If you're in a dark place, know that everything changes. You being here on Earth is not chance, you're supposed to be here, trust that. Allow for your feelings to be felt, all of them. If not they get stuck and are so much more tricky to get out if they've been there for a long time. If you have a lot of stuck energy (old, not felt emotions), ask for support in releasing them. Your own intuition will probably be the best guide, but sometimes we need other people or professionals to release in a safe and kind to ourselves way. And you are loved, so very loved. In fact, you are love itself. But if that's too much for your mind to grasp, just rest in knowing you are loved.

As my flow is slowly returning and I feel more alignment than in a long time my creativity is also starting to express. It's currently being channeled into a new online course on this very topic, called An intuitive life in flow (it will be in Swedish this time). It's a deepening of the workshop with the same name that I've been doing several times in the last month. Mind, intuition, alignment, flow, emotional release and integration. I'm toying with releasing it on the Summer Solstice but let's see what flows until then. I'm listening more than ever, so tired of efforting my way through life. And the question that guides me the most right now is still: What wants to happen now? So if you would listen to your own life, trusting that you are guided, what wants to happen now?

With all my love,

Helena